Why men hate rejection?

Getting rejected sucks. Especially for the blokes. It bruises egos, makes you feel worthless, emasculated and plays such havoc on your psyche, you're more inclined walk away than try your luck, despite the prospect of a new job or a late-night shag.

As Charles Moffat writes, "Misogyny is the result of years of embarrassing rejections combined with sexual frustration".

My friend concurs and recently confessed: "I am so afraid of rejection I won't even apply for a job, let alone ask women out. It's a man's number-one fear: getting a 'no'."

So you can imagine the shock and horror of a friend of mine (who wishes to remain nameless for reasons you're about to discover) who decided to spend three months of his salary on the perfect ring for his girlfriend of six months. He then sweated himself silly to come up with the perfect romantic proposal plan before getting down on one knee to pop the question. All this only to hear the one word he did not want to hear: "no" ...

He was so embarrassed by the rejection, he told the rest of us that he'd decided not to go ahead with the proposal at all and instead had decided to wait another few months. But we could tell he was shattered. Plus, what now? Can their relationship ever be salvaged? Or does a "no" to a proposal mean it's all but over?

Speaking to a female who's been proposed to a whopping five times, she reckons when a woman says "no" to a proposal, it signals the end of a relationship. Hence she's always said "yes" at the time, buying herself a little time to suss out her own feelings before giving the poor gent the flick.
As she explains it: "I just don't know how to say 'no' to men when they ask me out. They put me on the spot and it's the worst feeling in the world to have to tell them they've wasted their time and money. I'd rather say 'yes' and deal with it later."

Yet what has me flummoxed is her ability to go in so far deep with men as to have them wholly believe she's so into them that there is no way she is ever going to reject them.

So what's the solution for the gents?
Perhaps broaching the subject gently before making the full-blown proposal to ascertain her interest is the way to go. Oh, and in case you're thinking about one of those icky public proposals made at the sports stadium or on the Oprah Winfrey Show, you heard it from me first; it's an absolute no-no.

One bloke by the name of Ricardo Navarro, who should have done his research before he decided to publicly pop the question, appeared on a Jerry Springer-style show in Spain. After ambushing his ex-girlfriend to appear on the show, he proposed to her in front of a live audience. She refused, (it was later revealed that they had been in an abusive relationship), and a few days later, she was found stabbed to death.
And while this rather morbid tale might scare young women everywhere into acquiescing to her man when he pops the question, there are a number of reasons why you should definitely say "no" to a proposal - even despite how bling the ring is ...

When to say no to a proposal
* The relationship feels like 90 per cent hard work
* You figure you don't really know if you're ready to commit, but what the heck? Divorce is always an option
* You're only after them for their money, a work visa or their swanky apartment
* He's proposed out of guilt for lying/cheating/forgetting your birthday
* He's scared of losing you to someone else but doesn't treat you the way you should be treated
* He's a serial proposer, has recently been engaged to someone else and has already been married a couple of times - beware!

Desperate for a ring?
For those who are desperate for the ring, no matter what the cost to their lives, you might want to heed a warning from the couple I'm about to introduce you to. Most likely from the brilliant imaginations of the satirical newspaper website The Onion, it serves as a warning to ring-obsessed women everywhere.
Break-up hints - including erratic behaviour and strange, cryptic remarks about their future - as marriage-proposal hints".

Perhaps it's as Oscar Wilde once said: "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same" ...