Top 10 rules for finding love on Facebook

"He added me on Facebook - does that mean he's interested?"
"I added a woman I met at a bar on Facebook - does that mean she'll think I'm desperate?"
"He hasn't replied to my Facebook message - does that mean he's not that into me?"


Not a day goes by when I don't hear a gaggle of complaints all centered around the world's current largest chat-up-fest, otherwise known as Facebook. And with winter fast upon us, you can bet your ugg boots that more singletons will be letting their fingers do the flirting by hopping onto Facebook, Twitter or whatever bizarre fetish-specific dating website they can dream up, in order to nab a real life warm body to snuggle up to. Confusing? You bet. Hence herein lie my top 10 rules of Facebook dating (which, by the way, you should feel free to augment) ...

1. Updating your relationship status: When you go from "single" to "in a relationship", make sure that the person you're supposedly "in a relationship" with is aware that the two of you are now exclusive. Because, if you haven't yet had "the talk", or aren't certain they're not seeing other people, the best bet is to wait till they make the switch. Only then will you know you're safe to do the same. Oh, and don't do it to spite your ex and trick them into thinking you've moved on because if you get caught out, it will be mightily embarrassing.

2. Removing your relationship status: If you take off your relationship status, know that your entire throng of 500 friends will see an update, which says you're "no longer in a relationship". If you're just trying to get some privacy back, your partner could take this as being dumped over the cyber airwaves and freak out big time. And if it's legit but they just don't know about your intentions yet, I'm sure your soon-to-be-ex-squeeze would prefer to hear all about how you've fallen in love with someone else, or bonked their best friend, in person rather than through their Facebook page. (According to the BBC, a man in Britain murdered his wife for doing something like this, and, while this is an extreme case, watch out as reactions to shenanigans on Facebook can be vicious!)

3. Stop switching: You don't want to be one of those tools who continually changes their status back and forth from "single" to "in a relationship" to "it's complicated". Especially not when you're talking about the same person. Not a good look.

4. Stalking: Its nicknamed "stalkerbook" for a reason. Trawling through your friends' friends to scout any potential dates is a given. But, if you're going to request a friend of a friend who you've never met but think is cute and someone you might want to poke, make sure that a) they're unattached, and b) you've checked with your mate that it's OK to add one of their friends to your page. Otherwise you could come across as a psycho stalker, friend-poacher or boyfriend-stealer.

5. Quit Facebooking with the ex: The biggest problem to come out of Facebook aside from the incessant poking and all the "I hate the new Facebook" groups, is the ex conundrum. Do you really want to know all about their weekend shenanigans with their new squeeze? Or what they had for dinner last night while you sat home alone playing with your cat? No. Then there's the icky factor of logging on to your ex's page to check if you missed their birthday only to discover that they're recently engaged, married or worst-case-scenario - are newly single. My rule for exes on Facebook is to delete them immediately unless every bit of attachment has evaporated. Which, let's face it, it never really does.

6. TMI: Too much information can be as much a turn-off as getting spinach stuck in your teeth on a first date, having bad breath or passing wind during sex. Don't do it. We don't really care about what kind of jam you put on your toast for breakfast, or how you can't get to sleep because you drank to many lattes at lunch. Keep it short, sweet, sassy and sexy. Also, watch those status updates when you've chucked a sicky from work. Your boss could be lurking.

7. No PDA!: If you're telling your new beau how much you love your "schmookie pookie" and continually dote on how fantastic he was in the sack the previous night, keep it to private messaging. The same goes for a slagging war or airing your dirty laundry on your Facebook wall. Not cool.

8. Naked pics: Apparently there are a bevy of blokes out there (and I suspect a bunch of women thrown into that mix too) who are notorious for sending naked pics of themselves to unsuspecting Facebookers. I'm not sure when this suddenly became acceptable but if you've got your hand on your digital camera as we speak, please, put it away, now. It's not sexy, it's darn creepy.

9. Don't fake a Facebook: While it might seem funny at the time to create a fake profile of one of your exes to tell the world they have an STD and are bad in bed, it's actually illegal. One bloke in Britain sued a mate over doing just that. And anyway, it's against Facebook's official rules so think of other ways to take revenge.

10. First date Facebooking Finally, don't add someone or let them add you before the first date. You don't want to sit down on the date and have them recount everything you've done in the last few months, already know your favourite ice-cream flavour, how you like your eggs and which date you were on last Thursday. All the mystery and intrigue will vanish from the equation and you'll have nothing left to talk about but the day's weather. Which if you've already discussed on your Facebook page, well, you're on your own ...