Why do men hold back their tears?

Women do it 64 times a year, men do it just 17. No, I'm not talking the number of times they get their nose hairs waxed (and judging from the men I've met recently, that number should be significantly lower), the number of times a year we get jiggy between the sheets (hopefully those numbers are significantly higher), or when women win arguments with men (as they say, women are right all the time, even when they are wrong). Instead I'm talking about something far more sensitive that's bound to prickle the spines of burly blokes everywhere: shedding a tear.

And I'm not just talking about the odd teardrop when an unexpected chili flake bounces up your nose, (yes, it happened to me and, no, it's not too pleasant). Instead, I'm talking about those noisy, snotty, teary, heaving, raucous, fist-pounding, body-shaking, tear-jerking colossal crying episodes ...

Yet for some blokes, 17 cries per year would seem like a hell of a lot of wasted water. "Why cry when it solves absolutely nothing?" they rationalize, preferring to take the technical approach to their problems (which usually involves a calculator and a cheque book). Even if the conundrum is impossible to solve, it's unlikely we'll see any salt water well up in their eyes, with many gents preferring to take their emotions and sweep them under their proverbial carpet. Unfortunately those hidden feelings don't always stay put. "A lot of men know more about how a car works than their own emotions. And while crying allows men to release those all important stress hormones, it seems they're unlikely to let go of a few tears for fear of being labeled weak, emotionally vulnerable and - worst of all - feminine.

Introducing the emotional camel syndrome: where men can go without intimacy and sharing emotions for weeks, months, years, but suddenly have an outpour when they least expect it. Case in point is my seemingly unemotional male from Netherland who I observed over the holiday break. Enraptured in a tumultuous relationship with his on-again off-again girlfriend of few months, I met him for brunch not long before Christmas, only to find his face flushed and eyes streaming with tears. When I asked him if he was okay, the sobbing only exacerbated. "I hate her so much because of what she does to me," he yelped loudly between snivels. "But I love her so much at the same time. How is this possible? Why does she do this to me? And why am I crying? What is wrong with me?"

I'd never seen strong H so emotionally vulnerable before and realised that perhaps what the psychologists have been saying all along might not be so fuddy-duddy after all: blokes aren't emotionally dead, they are simply emotionally different. But perhaps women aren't as different to men as we first thought. A quick poll finds most women can't exactly pinpoint the last time they cried.

Either way all agreed that something strange happens when they don't cry for a while. When it does come out, it really does come bawling out ...