The Thrill Of The Man Chase

Sometimes you meet a man who is so desperate to see more of you, you can't help but be mightily flattered. He calls you, texts you, romances you, sends you flowers and asks to meet your mum. And then when you finally give in to his sexual whims, he's suddenly running away faster than a Roger Federer forehand and you're left scratching your head as to what the heck went wrong. Was it something you said? Your breath? Were you bad in bed?

While many women love the feeling of being chased, wooed, wined and dined (what woman doesn't like feeling wanted, sexy and in demand!) if we look at it from an evolutionary perspective, then it's actually the blokes who thrive on chasing after a skirt, and chasing her and chasing her until she finally acquiesces to his amorous whims. (And boy, does she ever, if he plays his cards right.)
So what's going on? Why is it all over once his catch has been caught?

Introducing Dopamine - the feel-good chemical in a man's brain that stimulates his reward centre when he's on the prowl. (It's the same nifty chemical that also releases when he eats, achieves something or has sex) ...
When a man pursues a woman, flirts with her, buys her nice gifts and does "the chase", the chemical goes "ping!". He gets titillated by the excitement, the competition (especially if other blokes are chasing his prey too) and it's simple to see why men become aggressive in the chase.

But buyers beware. Dr Helen Fisher (also dubbed the "doctor of love"), says once a chaser, always a chaser.
"The uncertainty of the chase feeds into their spontaneous, thrill-seeking nature. And this doesn't lessen with age. A chaser at 21 is going to be a chaser at 51." Hmm.

In order to garner an insight into this male mindset (and possibly how women can beat this dating chase), I tracked down author Steve Santagati in Miami. In his book, "The MANual", he attempts to explain to women the secrets behind the chase, the notorious "bad boy" behaviour, and their ability to woo us off our feet - only for us to never hear from them again once they've completed their pash and dash.
This is what he had to say:

Me: Are you just in it for The Chase?

Steve: In the words of the great band Motor Head - "You know the chase is better than the catch". I'm personally in it because I love women and I think you're fascinating. I don't want to be like you, sound like you or act like you, but I love observing how you see life.

Me: Can women ever flip the chase?

Steve: Obviously. But she has to know how men think and how to manipulate their actions. However this has to start on day one, and no later than date three.

Me: Can you ever change a bad boy?

Steve: You can't really change a bad boy. But you can help a bad boy change himself. There are really only two things that change a bad bay - albeit he'll always have a naughty streak inside.
First is his age. As he "matures" and has had his fill of feline, he tends to look for the simplicity of, yes folks, ONE great woman to be with.
The second is a woman who is strong, independent, sometimes a bad girl herself, and really fun to be with. Oh, and did I mention she should be sexy or hot?

Me: Is it worth ever dating a bad boy?

Steve: Yes, if you know what to expect and not take it too seriously. Also, if you pay attention, you will learn a ton.

Me: Are you really dating four other women at once and should we realise that when we first start to date you?

Steve: You should always assume we are dating, planning to date, or have just dated at least four other women. However, if you decide to have sex with us, request monogamy in that department. Explain the health risks et cetera .

Me: Do bad boys like to skip the dating process altogether?

Steve: All men like to skip dating and get right to bed. Duh! This isn't a romantic comedy we're living. However the more bad we become, the more we like the dating process - attribute it to the way a cat plays with it's prey before he kills it.

Me: How do you distinguish between a woman you want to date, and someone you're just using to have a good time with?

Steve: Very simply, by how smart she is, how hot she is (to us), and whether or not she can break our patterns and keep us on our toes / keep us guessing.

When we first meet you, what are the telltale signs that you're just a bad boy ready to mess with our heads?

Steve: We're going to make you feel like you've known us your whole life. However, we never (at least any decent man never does) go in thinking we want to hurt someone. Unless you hurt us first. We go in with the simple desire to seduce, sleep with, laugh and have fun. No more, no less.

In my case:  No, the chase is tedious.
I have to say good luck to the women that pursue such guys. I guess they are the insecure types with no personality of their own that need this sort of contrived "drama" to fill the void in their empty lives