Rules for a one-night stand

Forget long-term love affairs, shacking up in domestic bliss or long walks on the beach. These days it's all about the pash-and-dash, the booty-call and the one-night stand. And more often than not, they don't exactly turn out the way you planned. Not even for pop singer Enrique Iglesias, who had hoped that his one-night shag would at least stay for eggs and toast. No such luck. Instead she left him alone abruptly at 6am without so much as a quick goodbye. And while he hoped she'd come back, crooning "I'm trying hard not to feel rejected, maybe the phone line's disconnected", it soon became evident that she wasn't into anything more than a quickie shag and a kiss goodbye.

When broaching the topic over wines with friends, each had a pressing tale of a one-night stand gone wrong. One quips that she got a urinary tract infection from a guy she met at a bar; another was told that she'd be called the next day, only she hasn't heard from the dude in three weeks, and the third caught crabs. Eek ...
For the women wanting a quickie be warned. Men don't give two hoots if they never see the woman again, most women would only risk a one-nighter if they feel there's a chance of forming a long-term relationship. Almost half regretted it afterwards with one respondent declaring she felt "dirty and unhappy" about the whole situation.

So why do so many do it?
Experts have long reckoned that needing a casual fling has all got to do with a woman's cycle. During the ovulatory phase (between days 10 and 18 of the cycle), women report increased sexual desire and arousal, with a preference for short-term partners. Of course many might retort that alcohol plays a much bigger role than any bodily phases. But, either way, as dating and sex take on a new cachet, there are a slew of new rules that go hand in hand with having a booty-call buddy or one-night stand. Brave suitors (both men and women) need to adhere to the rules strongly if they're ever going to come out on top, so to speak ...

Rule 1: Use protection

Chances are that, if your one-night stand is willing to come home with you, they've been willing to go home with several other suitors during the course of their dating trajectory. This means that your fling has been swapping a whole lot of bodily fluids with their one-nighters, so you never know what you're going to contract. Not to mention that a third of New Yorkers have an STD, and it's enough to force you to carry a pack of condoms in your wallet for life.

Rule 2: Keep it casual

If you're only into it for a casual fling, keep it strictly to after hours. Lunches, coffee dates and expensive dinners can turn the simplest booty-call buddy into a desperado wanting to spill their emotions and have a relationship. As one booty call expert laments, "There are no emotions in a booty call." (She also advises avoiding cuddling, hanging out or spending the night.)

Rule 3: Don't introduce them to your friends

There is a chance that your booty-call buddy is actually looking for a relationship and simply using you as a stopover to domestic bliss. If you let them meet your mates, there's a chance romance might bloom, and then you're back to square one - no booty call in sight.

Rule 4: Don't buy your booty-call buddy gifts

The relationship should be about one thing and one thing only: late-night sex.

Rule 5: Beware of the emotional booty call

A relationship with a booty-call buddy who has feelings for you never ends well. Let them know from the get-go that you're not into a relationship and, if they are, they need to go elsewhere.