In love relationships there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. In fact it is a common belief that a relationship without pain is a relationship not worth having. To some pain is growth… How do we know when the growing pain stops and the pain-pain takes over?... Are we masochists or optimists if we continue to walk that fine line?... When it comes to relationships, how do we know when enough is enough?
I have never felt hurt like this where it feels as though someone has stuck a knife through my heart. I can barely breathe knowing that I can’t hold you, hug you and kiss you. The fact that you’re not within a distance to me that I can easily reach, hurts. I’ve missed you so badly the moment you were out my sight. I choked on tears and could not manage to breathe. I don’t know how I am going to live without you here to hold me. I love you so much that neither words nor actions could express my feeling for you. I could spend the rest of my life describing how much I love you and it still couldn’t possibly show my love and feelings for you in a proportion to which I feel them. Since after new year I had this sensation at the back of my mind and at the very pit of my stomach where it stayed so well hidden that I could not even acknowledge it. As summer drew near, I could finally recognize the heavy feeling of dread. This feeling became more heavily and as time went on, closer to your departure date, the sensation increasingly became more intense. Now my worst fear, my fear of losing you have become a reality. And it hurts. It hurts like hell. I feel sick, I tremble, I can’t breathe and tears constantly blur my vision. I don’t know how to handle this pain – this knife in the heart feeling of loss. Without you I feel alone and cold. I feel so small and helpless. You’re my life, you made me whole and without you, I am nothing. The fear that I have now is that I will forget the little things though I pray I never will. I am afraid that I will forget the way you feel and your smell. The little things that I love so much I am afraid that I’ll forget them. And I don’t want to, I so don’t want to. Now I know why we’re here. I know why we live. Its because once you find someone you love and care for so much, where you would give up anything and everything for them, you find purpose in your life that makes it worth living. You are my purpose and I don’t know what to do without you. How a few hours could change a life! I continue to cry, and I will continue for a long time and when my eyes cease to produce more tears, my heart will continue to cry for you everyday, because I will think of you everyday, every hour, every second within a minute. I don’t think I could prevent that if I wanted to. I cannot stop my heart from crying. It bleeds because of the pain I feel from losing you. I know that I will never really lose you because you will always be in my heart, but that does not stop me from missing you. And feeling desperate with the need to hug and kiss you and be in your arms. My heart beats for you now and forever. Before when I was with you, it beats happily and now it beats longingly . longing to have you with me, and that longing cannot be easily or quickly smothered. You will always have a permanent place in my heart. I will never forget you, how could i? I need you more than anything. You’re my life support. Although I hate what has been done to us, being torn apart from one another, I will always be happy for the time I had you with me. I will treasure each moment in my heart and be thankful for the little precious time we had together. I love you so much. Please don’t forget that, it’s important for me that you never forget that. One image I found immense comfort in when I recall it is us on your bed the night before you had to leave. You’re holding me, our bodies so close to each other that you could feel the beating of our hearts. You with one arm beneath my head and the other playing with my hair. Our legs are intertwined and you are telling me one of your stories. I miss you so much. And I know that it is only going to get worse with time, not better. I don’t know if my heart will ever heal. It has been shattered too badly.
God, I love you. I miss you so much J. B
I have never felt hurt like this where it feels as though someone has stuck a knife through my heart. I can barely breathe knowing that I can’t hold you, hug you and kiss you. The fact that you’re not within a distance to me that I can easily reach, hurts. I’ve missed you so badly the moment you were out my sight. I choked on tears and could not manage to breathe. I don’t know how I am going to live without you here to hold me. I love you so much that neither words nor actions could express my feeling for you. I could spend the rest of my life describing how much I love you and it still couldn’t possibly show my love and feelings for you in a proportion to which I feel them. Since after new year I had this sensation at the back of my mind and at the very pit of my stomach where it stayed so well hidden that I could not even acknowledge it. As summer drew near, I could finally recognize the heavy feeling of dread. This feeling became more heavily and as time went on, closer to your departure date, the sensation increasingly became more intense. Now my worst fear, my fear of losing you have become a reality. And it hurts. It hurts like hell. I feel sick, I tremble, I can’t breathe and tears constantly blur my vision. I don’t know how to handle this pain – this knife in the heart feeling of loss. Without you I feel alone and cold. I feel so small and helpless. You’re my life, you made me whole and without you, I am nothing. The fear that I have now is that I will forget the little things though I pray I never will. I am afraid that I will forget the way you feel and your smell. The little things that I love so much I am afraid that I’ll forget them. And I don’t want to, I so don’t want to. Now I know why we’re here. I know why we live. Its because once you find someone you love and care for so much, where you would give up anything and everything for them, you find purpose in your life that makes it worth living. You are my purpose and I don’t know what to do without you. How a few hours could change a life! I continue to cry, and I will continue for a long time and when my eyes cease to produce more tears, my heart will continue to cry for you everyday, because I will think of you everyday, every hour, every second within a minute. I don’t think I could prevent that if I wanted to. I cannot stop my heart from crying. It bleeds because of the pain I feel from losing you. I know that I will never really lose you because you will always be in my heart, but that does not stop me from missing you. And feeling desperate with the need to hug and kiss you and be in your arms. My heart beats for you now and forever. Before when I was with you, it beats happily and now it beats longingly . longing to have you with me, and that longing cannot be easily or quickly smothered. You will always have a permanent place in my heart. I will never forget you, how could i? I need you more than anything. You’re my life support. Although I hate what has been done to us, being torn apart from one another, I will always be happy for the time I had you with me. I will treasure each moment in my heart and be thankful for the little precious time we had together. I love you so much. Please don’t forget that, it’s important for me that you never forget that. One image I found immense comfort in when I recall it is us on your bed the night before you had to leave. You’re holding me, our bodies so close to each other that you could feel the beating of our hearts. You with one arm beneath my head and the other playing with my hair. Our legs are intertwined and you are telling me one of your stories. I miss you so much. And I know that it is only going to get worse with time, not better. I don’t know if my heart will ever heal. It has been shattered too badly.
God, I love you. I miss you so much J. B
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