Oh no, they've been swapped for eating Thai takeaway, while watching House, in trakky daks. And as for dirty talk? Well you can bet all that's being said in the bedroom is, "Sweety, turn that light down, switch off your mobile and stop making all those smells!" Oh yes, keeping the spark alive is one of life's biggest mysteries.
Long term couples are frustrated, marrieds are fed up and singletons are staying far away from the icy waters of coupledom incase they get bitten by the no-action-until-next-month (if you're lucky) bug. But does getting hitched really mean the end of all the fun? Well according to many of the coupled-up folks, the answer is a resounding yes.
So what's the solution?
One couple I know swears by the "date night" theory: dress up one night of the week, wear makeup, clean clothes, spritz a little cologne and meet each other at a swanky restaurant, all the while pretending you're meeting for the first time, (and after knocking back a couple of champas, I can guarantee this theory works wonders...)
Some swear by a dirty weekend away (without the kids, the Blackberry or the in laws); others deal with it by popping raunchy videos in the DVD player, (and don't say you've never thought about it!), and of course there are those aphrodisiacs - oysters, champagne, exotic fruit, figs and chocolates. (Although I have my suspicions that many are popping things other than fruit and veg to get the juices flowing.)
Which brings me to my next point. Recently I read about of Femi-X. Never heard of it? Well it's that new female herbal aphrodisiac pill that is getting coupled-up women worldwide into a tizzy. One brave femme I know tried it out, and confirms that it does wonders in the bedroom. "Have it while you're eating dinner with a glass of wine and two hours later you're good to go no matter how tired or how hard a day you just had. But only use it for special occasions," she warns. I wasn't so sure.
Yet sexually starved long-timers listen up - you might not need a pill after all. According to the experts, sometimes all it takes is a few nice words and a good cuddle to get in the mood, rather than trying out the entire book of Kamasutra, (although I am sure your partner wouldn't complain about that either.)
Sexologist keeps the spark alive in her relationship well and truly alive. "If I'm late home he will cook me something yummy. Or I may surprise him by buying him a surfing lesson. I enjoy my life, fill it will interesting things, have heartfelt passions and have a positive attitude... that is very attractive! Plus I make creating a great sex life a priority."
One happily married blogger, E, reckons that key is to bring back those initial feelings of attraction. "I like to remember back to how I felt the first time I met my wife," tells me over drinks. "Just thinking about it now makes me tingle." And with that his phone begins to vibrate and indeed, it's her on the phone.
So back to the question. When you're working on getting your mojo back and spicing things up a little, why not take up yoga, book dinner in a snazzy restaurant, take a hike together in the outback and get yourself into some sexy lingerie. (It can't hurt, right?) But if you've been hibernating all winter, don't forget to get rid of the unwanted hair and dab on a little fake tan. Just make sure it doesn't smell too bad...
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