Martyr in Love

It's easy for us to tell our friends to stop being martyrs though when we are in a relationship, we end up giving everything.

If you have read the books "Why Men Love Bitches" and "Why Men Marry Bitches", the author said it all. There's no point in giving everything away to people who are not deserving enough. But how do we know who are deserving and who are not? Simple. By knowing our worth as a person.

A friend of mine asked me, "what's wrong with me?"

If she asked me that question years ago, I'd tell her nothing's wrong with her. But in all honesty, there is something wrong with her, and I told her that.

The problem with most women is that they don't see themselves as worthy of being loved. They think they'll die if they lose their guys when in reality, they were already complete way before they met their boyfriends. They've lost their identity when they cling too much. I know. Because I've been there. There was even a time when it took me 2 years to let go. I thought I wasn't good enough. I thought I don't deserve him and yet I cling to the memories, hoped that one day he'll see me differently. But it never happened. Why? Because I didn't see myself as someone worthy of love. But everybody keeps telling me that there's nothing wrong with me. Nobody really told me there was. And nobody educated me about it.

After all these years and after all the failed relationships, I began to think twice about myself. The biggest mistake I've done in my entire 'love' life. Until one day, I came across those two (2) books I mentioned above and everything changed. To start off, I listed down my strengths and weaknesses, changed the way I think of myself, set my standards on how guys should be treating me. It wasn't easy because I was used to 'self-pitying'. It took a long time and a lot of courage (and crying if I may add) to finally learn how to stick to those standards and let go of those who don't treat me well. In other words, I gained my dignity and self-respect. I got my identity back.