Girly Dramas He Doesn't Understand

There are certain events that create turmoil in a guy's life (think: an episode of erectile dysfunction). But as most men have witnessed, it can take far less to send a girl off the deep end. Now we're not saying your mini-meltdowns aren't justified. We just don't understand them…at all. Here, a few things that leave us scratching our heads.


Your Anniversary Obsession
If a guy forgets the day you officially became a couple, he deserves the cold shoulder. But the five-month mark of the first time you kissed? C'mon! That simply doesn't strike us as significant. Just ask Kent*, 21: "My girlfriend called me pissed off and said 'Do you know what today is?' " he recalls. "I had no clue it was our year-and-a-half anniversary. And frankly, it seemed ridiculous to me that she was tracking our relationship so closely." Annual events are one thing, but you can't expect monthly Hallmark moments.


Your Waterworks
We may shed a tear at a funeral or after being kneed in the nuts, but beyond that, boys usually don't cry. So you can imagine our befuddlement when you bawl out of the blue. Jason, 30, describes a mystifying experience: "I was at dinner with a date when she started tearing up," he explains. "Apparently, she saw an elderly man eating alone and decided that he'd recently lost his wife. For all we knew, he could've been trying to get away from her for a night!"


Your "Fat" Days
The minute-to-minute fluctuations men pay attention to involve stocks and sports scores — not pounds. So that "killer bloating" you're always talking about is imperceptible to us. Cory, 22, confirms: "My girl and I were running late one night because 'none of her clothes fit,' " he says. "I literally saw her try on about five outfits that looked great, but she still swore she was a cow. The funniest part was that we were going to a movie, where it was going to be dark!"


Your Peripheral Pals
Women maintain draining relationships with former coworkers, one-time neighbors, sisters of ex-boyfriends, etc., out of some twisted sense of obligation. Todd, 25, has a chick like this. "Every time we visit her parents, she insists on meeting up with her best friend from high school," he says. "They relive senior year, and then we bail because they have nothing else to talk about. I just don't see the point." Bottom line: Life is too short to spend a Saturday night dining with a girl who occupied the mat next to you in yoga three years ago."


*Names have been changed.