Think of dating, love and romance and many associate it with feelings of pleasure, intimacy and elation. Oh, those mesmeric first dates! Those delectable first kisses! Those first magic moments spent exploring each other's bodies, minds and souls! Even before you succeed in seamlessly hopping from the billiard room to the bedroom, the cute person you're trying to pick up at the bar is sizing you up, looking you over and measuring you against their mental checklist.
Are you too tall? Too short? Too funny? Not funny enough? Wearing the right pair of shoes?
Sadly, these are the things I often hear being complained about the most when singletons recount their weekend gallivants. All too often I'm privy to stories about how they thought they met the "perfect" partner, only to discover their Lothario didn't match all their mandatory checklist criteria.
While the dating game is hard enough, imagine if no matter how hard you try to impress the opposite sex, you always had a disadvantage? Such is the case of a handful of readers who have written in to tell me how difficult it is for them to find a date in this town because they have a disability.
One story that touched me was that of Larissa, who describes the dating scene as "treacherous" because of it.
This is her tale ...
"I have a colostomy bag. I had to have the operation to save my life when I was 23 years old, and now I'm fit and healthy. Most people don't know that I have a bag, as I only tell those who need to know.
"Recently, I was on a second date and it was going so well. We were kissing and couldn't keep our hands off each other. He told me that I have a great body, beautiful smile, that I'm witty and that it was nice to talk to me. Then I told him I had a bag. He was shocked, to say the least. It was a deal breaker for him. He couldn't handle me having a bag. From the expression on his face, it was like I had an infectious disease and he was afraid of catching it.
"Guys who have seen my bag have not had a problem with it. One even said, 'Is that it? That's nothing'. I don't consider having a bag to be a disability as it doesn't stop me from doing anything. However, I know some guys will reject me because of it and I have to accept that.
"I usually don't tell guys on the first date because if I'm never going to see them again, they don't need to know. But when should I tell a prospective partner about my little secret? And how should I tell them? I wonder, should I write on my internet dating profile that I have a colostomy bag? Maybe not. Some things are just too private to share with strangers who just happen to be reading your profile.
"Prescription 4 Love is a dating site that caters to people who have medical conditions, www.prescription4love.com
"Everybody is upfront about their medical condition, so there are no surprises down the track. Whoa ... hang on though ... would I want to date someone just because they too have a bag? Having the same medical condition doesn't mean you will be instantly compatible. When I'm choosing a partner, I take into consideration a whole range of criteria that makes up the whole package.
"There are lots of people leading normal lives in the community who have medical conditions, such as diabetes, kidney disease, missing limbs, hearing impairment, epilepsy and asthma. Are some medical conditions more acceptable than others?
"And for those of you who are wondering, yes I have a normal sex life. ;-)"
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