Yet for a friend of mine whom we'll call Dane, a one-night interstate holiday fling quickly morphed into an eight-month long obsession. There were multiple trips back and forth between cities, nightly Skype conversations and blurred boundaries between what could and couldn't be done when the two were apart.
The pair both soon both found themselves in relationships with other people and yet were constantly comparing their new loves to the one hot night they spent with their fling.
Of course their fling was bloody fantastic - it was one night! No strings attached! All their inhibitions out the window! Real life, on the other hand, is unfortunately an entirely different ball game...
The biggest trouble with indulging in a fling is when your beloved bed-buddy enters into it under the false pretense that it's all a prelude for developing something more. Hence, if your fling does attempt a cuddle, a proper "date" or to introduce you to any member of their family, you're supposed to push the brakes on hard, let them know gently that you're returning home in a couple of days / weeks / hours, and that you'd prefer if there were no strings attached ... indefinitely.
Yet if you're attempting to do the pash and dash, then good luck to you because, thanks to Facebook, Twitter and Google maps, you can actually track the movements of your holiday fling with all the precision of a Brad Pitt character from Spy Game.
So, ladies and gents, I've decided to put out there the top etiquette rules on how to have a successful fling without getting caught up in a detrimental emotional roller coaster ... follow them if you dare ...
1. Know the definition of a fling.
A fling is a temporary, brief romance that sits somewhere between the one-night stand and the full-blown relationship. It is also known as the anti-Great Love and, for this reason, it should never, under any circumstances, become something more.
2. Know why you or your fling are deciding to indulge in a fling
This is the tricky bit. Are you on the rebound? Is your fling looking for revenge sex to get over an ex? Are you both just looking for a bit of fun in the sun? Or is your fling actually looking for a serious long-term relationship and secretly hoping that you'll end up proposing? It's imperative to know where you both stand before you indulge in the fling. Otherwise your situation could easily end up exactly like that of my friend Dane.
3. Have a fling with someone incompatible.
Donna Sozio, author of Never Trust a Man in Alligator Loafers, has had her fair share of flings. She says that, aside from checking out a man's shoes before you do the horizontal rumba with him, you are to make sure that he's nothing remotely resembling your "type".
"Women, make sure that it's with a man who you are incompatible with - much younger, thousands of miles away, a porn addict, etc. - otherwise you will get hooked," she says. "And then you might run the risk of waiting by the phone wishing, hoping and praying that your 'fling' will call."
3. Know it will not last
"Flings are not meant to last ... although sometimes they do but don't count on it," Donna says. Hence you need to know exactly when, and more specifically how, to end the fling. Dane now says he goes by the two-week rule: any more than two weeks and the fling needs to end immediately.
"I tell her I'm going away and will call her when I return. I never do." Ouch.
4. Don't confuse sex with friendship.
Sometimes sex is just sex. No friendship, no feelings, no future. So when the fling is all but over, don't expect to be able to sit on the phone with your fling for hours to talk about your past failed relationships and your deep-seated father issues. If there was no friendship to begin with, don't expect sex to create one. Most often it won't.
5. Ex-sex is not a fling
When you decide to have wild, uninhibited sex with an ex, this isn't a fling. It's graveyard sex. It's going backwards. And it's stifling your ability to go out and search for someone new. Stick to anonymous flings and you'll do just fine ..
Things for men to know about a fling:
* When women aren't expecting a fling, they might not have their legs shaved. If this is the case, she will probably refuse to get naked with you. Don't be afraid to tell her you like women au natural. Most of the time, she'll believe you.
* Women always want to talk, no matter what. Whether it be before, during, or after sex, it makes her feel special, wanted and safe. Listen. Some intelligent banter is actually considered by many women as the ultimate foreplay activity.
* Do cuddle, even if you'd rather stick a needle in your eye. You don't have to cuddle all night, but a quick spoon will do the trick.
* Do send a follow-up text message even though you'd rather be out surfing with your mates. It makes her feel as if she hasn't been used. Even just one text to say you had a great night is enough to satiate her ego and make her feel as if she hasn't been used ...
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