Breaking up and having to deal with a broken heart is something that most people dread. They sometimes spend years putting it off when they know that it's really the "right" thing for them to do. While we're certainly about helping people create the relationships that they really want, we know that sometimes in order to have what you want in your life, you have to leave the partner you are with.
So the question is--Are break-ups really as bad as we all perceive them to be?
"People who are more in love really are a little more upset after a breakup, but their perceptions about how distraught they will be are dramatically overstated when compared to reality." So if we "dramatically" overstate our distraught feelings before we break up, how can you look at your relationship and situation in a way that is more grounded in reality?
Here are some ideas to help you make your break up decision in a healthier way and to survive a break up if one comes your way...
1. Look at your relationship as it really is right now. Don't look at it with fond memories of what could have been or maybe even what was. Maybe the relationship was just what you wanted at some point or maybe it wasn't ever the way that you wanted. In your mind, don't try to make it something that it isn't, might have been or wasn't.
2. Look at you and your partner's level of willingness to commit to making your relationship better. A relationship takes the commitment of two people to make it great and while one person can certainly make changes within himself or herself--one person can't make the commitment for both people. There has to be a desire on the part of both people to create the relationship that they each want--with each other.
3. Start taking responsibility for how you are helping to create this situation and this relationship. Relationships are never about one person. They are about how two people interact with one another and ways that they push each other's "buttons." Look at what you are doing to create what is currently happening.
4. Look toward what you want. It's sometimes far easier for some people to look at what they don't want and stay stuck there. Start thinking about what you do want and then be on the lookout for it--especially in your partner. Start taking responsibility for creating your life the way you want it to be.
2. Look at you and your partner's level of willingness to commit to making your relationship better. A relationship takes the commitment of two people to make it great and while one person can certainly make changes within himself or herself--one person can't make the commitment for both people. There has to be a desire on the part of both people to create the relationship that they each want--with each other.
3. Start taking responsibility for how you are helping to create this situation and this relationship. Relationships are never about one person. They are about how two people interact with one another and ways that they push each other's "buttons." Look at what you are doing to create what is currently happening.
4. Look toward what you want. It's sometimes far easier for some people to look at what they don't want and stay stuck there. Start thinking about what you do want and then be on the lookout for it--especially in your partner. Start taking responsibility for creating your life the way you want it to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment