I thought as a dating expert I'd heard it all. Yet despite the experiences, the thousands of messages I receive and the countless queries that land on my mailbox on a daily basis, I was honestly quite taken aback when I heard the following cautionary tale ...
Elizabeth and her boyfriend had been living together for about a year and a half. Together they owned three cats, a few birds and a car. The problem with the relationship was that he was apparently a major "douchebag" and she was tired of it all. Hence Elizabeth decided to kick him to the curb.
Two weeks later he returned (with his "hefty father" as she termed him) in tow to help him gather the stuff he had left behind. Then, just before he was about to leave, he handed Elizabeth a piece of paper and told her to sign it. In all the "confusion" (as she described it), she did what she was told without bothering to read it ...
When Elizabeth eventually did get around to reading it, she discovered that it was in fact an itemised bill for everything he'd ever spent on her during their relationship. It included Valentine's presents, food, seasickness tablets, groceries, videos, trips together, romantic nights out and even flowers he had bought for her for anniversaries.
The total? A whopping $7389.09. Ouch.
Of course while the document would never stand up in a court of law, by the sound of things this guy was definitely a bona fide "douchebag" who was definitely on a mission to extort his ex for some cash.
Hence Elizabeth decided to take some action of her own and instead of giving him a dime, decided that she'd post the bill on a blog to see what the world really thought of an ex asking for post-breakup remunerations.
Yet in case you're wondering if this is just a rare case of a scorned ex taking revenge to a new itemised level, think again. A girlfriend of mine recently received a bill for half of a romantic trip that her ex-boyfriend paid for the two of them to go on. His gripe? She dumped him soon after the trip and so he felt used, abused and taken advantage of.
"But wasn't the trip supposed to be a gift?" my girlfriend had asked him when presented with the bill. "Yes, but only for someone who loved me back, not for a user," he sniffed. The problem was his callous and cheap behaviour, which he failed to acknowledge. That forced her to make the hasty decision to give him the flick the minute they touched back down on Aussie soil.
All this talk of asking an ex to be refunded thanks to all the crap they put you through got me thinking. Perhaps these scorned exes might have had a point after all! Because if I think back to all the time wasted, effort put in, money spent, pain suffered and vodka downed thanks to BEB (bad ex behaviour), I wouldn't actually mind recuperating some of the hard-earned dough I so willingly spent on impressing them at the time.
The gals from TheFrisky.com (a brilliant dating blog if there ever was one) seem to concur, even going so far as to suggest that they'd love to bill their ex for a few certain miscellaneous costs that they would have rather done without.
* All the text messages that went unanswered
* The therapy sessions that were needed after the breakup
* The ice cream that just had to be eaten to soften the blow
* Pity money for every kilo lost to stress
* Double that pity money for every kilo gained too, and
* Money for every single time an orgasm had to be faked
Yes, I'd say that would be much-deserved cash indeed ...
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