Are there benefits to a "friend with benefits"?

While having a "friend with benefits" used to be seen as a modern-day right of passage for the empowered female who doesn't need a boyfriend/husband/partner complete her, it seems lately FWBs have been getting a bad wrap. Especially if recent research is anything to go by.

The reality is that for singletons entrapped in a non-self-imposed sexual drought, it's mightily easy to fall into the FWB relationship. You meet someone, you sleep with them and the sexual chemistry is running rampant. All you want to do is get into each others pants, preferring to skip all the fuddy duddy small-talk and lengthy dinners that go hand-in-hand with the traditional dating process.

"Who needs all that hoopla when the sex is already great?" they surmise. "Why bother with expensive dinners and innocent flirtation when we can just get right down to the bonking part?" Hence, instead of working on a friendship or any sort of real connection, they keep it strictly to sex, becoming bona fide FWBs ...
Sure, there are plenty of benefits. The FWB relationship is extremely laid back, (no-one has to call, meet their bonk buddy's folks or pay for dinner), there are no strings attached (they're free to date other people on the side), it's cheap and there's none of that forced commitment hoopla that goes along with dating someone new.

But, just like a diet of sugary sweets (you know they're bad for you, but you can't resist), there are plenty of downsides too. Before we delve into the stats (yes, there are stats for this sort of thing so bear with me), let's talk about what we already know about the negatives of the FWB relationship. For starters, when you're so busy bonking your bonk buddy, and know they're always available, it can hinder anyone ensconced in such a tryst from actually meeting someone they may be able to have a long-term, committed, monogamous relationship with.

Secondly, it wreaks havoc on the lives of everyone involved, especially since by their very nature, FWBs keep the relationship to "booty calls", which usually take place way after 11pm, (or during a lunch break) and there's often alcohol involved.

And finally, they're mightily addictive. Yep, despite all the orgasmic fun they might bring during the moment, many people find themselves falling hard for the FWB. Yes, it's easy to see why FWBs might not be so conducive to a healthy lifestyle after all.

In fact, it can get so complex being ensconced in an FWB twosome that the good folks at Michigan State University in the US decided to administer an entire study based around the ever-increasing phenomenon to determine exactly why such a relationship can be so detrimental.

The study discovered that the worst part of the FWB relationship is the fear one person may indeed fall romantically in love with their supposed booty call buddy.

Paradoxically, the study found that one tenth of these relationships actually developed into a full-blown romantic relationship, while one in four ended the union without the sex, or the friendship, in tact.
So, when there's so much at stake, why do people go into them into the first place? Two reasons: safety (it's better than doing it with a stranger), and the best part - it doesn't involve any form of serious commitment.
Unfortunately, despite what most may be thinking, the commitment thing just can't be avoided - biologically speaking. As reported on The Frisky website (and it's a concept that I've harped on about a number of times in this blog):

"Sex is a drug. Or at least it feels that way for women, thanks to oxytocin, the hormonal transmitter that makes you feel happy, relaxed, and bonded to your partner after sex.

"In an FWB, your mind may be telling you no about a guy, but your body may be telling you yes. It's confusing. Men don't get this bonding hormone in the same dosage, or, in some cases, at all. Oftentimes, as much as we women tell ourselves we're not attached to these dudes we do, the fact of the matter is that it's not something we can totally control. Part of how you feel about him is a side effect of sex. If you're not careful, casual sex can actually cause depression."

I love their conclusion, which leaves us with this brilliant thought: "Why do we settle for coach when we could go first-class?" They may just have a valid point ...