Ye Mere Deewanapan Hai I Sophia Abella

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Meeting On-Line, What's more hurtful: Playing games or being blunt honest?

This guy just told me that I was unpleasant and he doesn't like that. So I laughed, I think this guy like the game from a woman who he meets on line, like Hi sweetie, I like you and so forth. Well, I don't do that. I speak through my mind and heart, it goes together..but most of the men use their second head and other women use her head to get this guy. It's like winning a lotto without a ticket? That's rubbish!

There is big difference between" friendly and flirty". I'd be hypocrite if I never tried flirting at all, but I rather flirt with friends in public, not one on one conversation, it might lead to someone a different meaning...still I am respectful to others. I just don't like to hear some men telling me all this bullocks and sweet words just to get into my panties. Hell No! I throw fire and test him how far he can go, one thing I learned..

A real man never gets upset from a lady who is blunt in fact it's an attitude, meaning--not easy to be tempted or be fooled. A fake man calls her many names and ETC because men are egotistical. Most men can't accept of being rejected specially if they think they are powerful, they always think no woman can decline them because I am rich, I am good looking, I have nice body bla and bla. At some point, I have met a lot so far, so I don't take any offense nor get myself into strain.

I admit, I love posting myself in many sites but I never have thought I could have thousands of clicks and admiration, so in return to what they're doing..I rather post a blog and share things to both Ts's and Men who is finding a date, fun and marriage, that's all I know to say Thank You. I would be a liar if I am not looking for a man, but nonetheless I wait for the right one, the best one and the deserving one. For me, a real man would find ways to speak with me about his intentions, not a random " COPY and PASTE" messages to all ladies in that website because I can tell if the content has been sent to many, or just for me. I am completely happy and lucky having a gift of wisdom, that's why I chose Sophia which means " WISDOM".

I enjoy posting images of myself to represent myself as a woman with class and glamor, but most men think I collect men and I am sleeping different men, it's a funny and hilarious judgment I ever had encountered. They just don't know who's behind those images. Me? If I see a guy naked, I never judge he is an asshole because he just shows what he is, rather than being a man no picture in his profile but he is find of collecting. But then I always been neutral, I give them a chance but 1 on 1 basis. What I am trying to divulge is..I admit I have many messages but I choose only one then talk a little bit, if he pass my standards which I like intellectual men, then I focus then let other queues in line, if he happens he lost his chance, then that's the time I give others a chance, I am not like others who chat 10,20,30 at one time? How can you find serious and what love is? I don't see a logic from there, UNLESS your profile is only for fun and sex, then no more questions being asked. No dramas, no words and nothing but a casual flirting or casual sex. But most of the people seem they don't know what the difference between real and sweet? arrogant and pleasant? Anyway, we can't please anybody. This guy quoted me. you are not beautiful and I can find lot of TS who are pleasant and prettier, so I laughed. I don't level myself to other TS anywhere part of the world, I have my own style and I know I have heart and brain, having a + is a part of a bonus package. HAHAHA

So I played a trick. I tried to be pleasant and I met him. That way I can tell him straight on his face what I am trying to do online to men who has idiotic behavior.

This was the scenario...I met this guy in a classy bar in Fiamma, for celebrities and I walked towards him, he was mesmerized and tongue-tied. I started to make a conversation and I can see his face of embarassment. That moment, I know he doesn't meant what he said to me online, he was just pissed-off because I was the first person who speaks blunt, and it was his first time being treated like an asshole. I was smiling and I tried to get his attention, so then I opened up why I am like that online, I gave him a brief and concise explanations, and he said, you are right Sophia. So he asked me these questions: Are you celebrity? I replied why? No because when you walking all here are looking at you, so I said, is that my fault? So I asked back, so why you called me ugly huh? It's just that you made me upset and that's the only way I could hurt you..Me? I never get hurt by that, infact I love it. UNLESS I wasn't sure of myself then I would feel bad..Then lastly, have you studied in UK or US, why? You sounds educated and I can tell your writings and the way you talk now is one person..Ofcourse I am beyond real. Not all people who writes are real, copy and paste or someone is making it for them, so the best way to know a person is face to face or phone call. Emaling and chatting is only an immiediate way of knowing some details or urgent matters, what's the use of mobile phone and airbuses? HAHAHA

In addition, he said, you are awesome woman, you have all men what a man want, So I sarcastically said, Yes I know that's why I am very strict and the only way to meet a real one is to " test" by any means. No wonder a lot people meeting online have deceived and fooled because they reply on " KEYBOARDS FREE CHATS", you can't never find a person real or not by that way. Even couple spending 10-20-30 years still have hidden secrets to each other, how much more two completely strangers? Most of them live by fantasy, they like the thought of dreaming and experiencing beyond their limits, sorry to say I am both Fantasy and a Reality so I am lucky I guess. HAHAHA

So after that little conversations, I was already relax and he was too. We enjoyed the wine and we danced. Now he sees himself how bubbly and sweet woman I am in real world. LESSON: Internet is a machine designed to find and browse your type, but to know the person, you have to meet. Enough tip?

VIEWS:

I would rather have someone that is blunt honest with me, and not lead me on and vice versa. So when I went on a date with him I guess I should have been like: Ew, you're f*cking gross. You're way too freaking hairy, you're fat, and you have the personality of a rock.You need to see a psychiatrist and get your life together, you pathetic jobless *ss. How dare you lie about your age, and represent yourself with a picture that looks nothing like you. And then go back to my car and go home.

But no... I was too nice. I tried to look past his flaws and enjoyed the date as much as I could. Then politely gave him the news that it wasn't going to work out the next day. I told him: "You're not my type, and its not going to work between us" like the nice person I try to be. I guess in order to be nice we have to play games. Am I being more hurtful this way? really!?

I would say playing games most of the people doing in a dating site. However just purely looking at the question I would say honest. Notice I take away the word blunt. There is never an excuse to be hurtful or disrespectful to a person. However there is no point giving someone the impression there is a future in a relationship, when there isn't.

I'm not taking sides in their argument with these guys. However I can see ranting and ramble. Some men were trying to spare his feelings and he was under the impression there was a relationship, when there wasn't! It probably wasn't either one of theirs faults, just one of those examples of how two different points of view can end up with very different results! You can be blunt and honest or you can be blunt, honest, and whatever else... but 'blunt honest' is quite an annoying blend.

I don't wish to hurt others. Normally I'm sure I would have said just what you did. But when I think about it, maybe that is more unkind than helpful. Ordinarily I would fudge a little bit, but if this guy doesn't look like his pics, is really fat, gross and older than he claimed to be, I would feel deceived and annoyed. In such a situation, I might now say, with a calm and honest voice,

"Hey, you really don't look anything like you did in the picture you sent me. That must have been taken years ago. Sorry, but I realize that you are really not my type at all.

"I'm sure you have good qualities, but right now I feel really misled and disappointed.

"I don't want to waste your time or mine this evening, so I think I'll go home now. Have a good night."

And the reason I would say it like that is so he realizes he is either lying to himself, to others, or both -- which is not right.

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