Hillary Clinton did it. Victoria Beckham did it. Heck, even Simone Warne did it (or at least while she could stand it). It seems when it comes to standing by your man during a rampant sex scandal that is flashed across the world for the entire universe to judge, peruse over, guffaw at and tut-tut over, high-profile femmes feel it's their duty to face the music and stand with a saccharine sweet smile side-by-side their philandering gent.
In fact, according to journalist Jane Ridley of the New York Daily News, all political women should invest in a "stand by her man pantsuit" that enables the trophy wives to be "wheeled out, looking strong and unshakable." Sounds like a plan to me.
Of course, for most folks, no amount of apologizing can ever absolve their partner from the fact that they've been stepping out behind their back, despite whom the floozy in question might be. Even comedian David Letterman concurs, recently advising Eliot Spitzer's wife Silda to dump her disgraced husband ...
"How long does that need to last, by the way?" Letterman asked the audience on his New York-based late night show. "I mean, wouldn't you - if you were his wife, wouldn't you be on the first train out of here. Just 'adios', get the kids, take a hike."
And with these sorts of scandals becoming more familiar than Britney Spears' lack of underwear, many are left pondering the question: why do so many women stay and cling so tightly to their matrimonial vows?
Perhaps they rationalise that it can do wonders for their ambitions and careers thanks to the rampant publicity machine that suddenly takes hold. Take Hillary Clinton, who after the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky scandal, was seen as the "wronged wife" that the world was eager to root for. Heck, they even voted her in as a New York senator and she currently has Bill's unrelenting support day and night behind her super-ambitious presidential campaign!
Another reason is that psychologists surmise women stay because we're more "emotionally and psychologically hardwired" for forgiveness than the gents. In other words, we're way quicker to forgive them for their sins.
Others do it for their kids (the Spitzers have three), in desperate hope of keeping their family somewhat united.
And then there are many who are likely to do it in fear: in fear of losing money, power and social status if they rid themselves from their high-profiled gent. Besides, they probably rationalise that everyone has their faults and foibles, so who are they to judge?
Another sticky question to emerge from the Spitzer story is this: whose fault is it really is when it comes to why the men philandered in the first place?
Dr. Laura Schlessinger, a controversial American relationship expert and radio host, told NBC's Today Show that men like Eliot Spitzer cheat "when the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings -- sexually, personally -- to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero".
When a shocked NBC host asked whether women should feel guilty like they somehow drove the man to cheat, Laura answered with this: "The cheating was his decision to repair what's damaged and to feed himself when he's starving. But yes, I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need."
Hmph. Not even the gents themselves agree. This according to one anonymous man who admitted on Britain's Times online website that he was addicted to prostitutes. He told the reporter "craved prostitutes like a crackhead craves drugs" because he "wanted to feel nothing; oblivion feels good when you've had a bad day at work, or are hungover".
"Why does a man need a prostitute if he's got a lovely girlfriend at home?" he continues. "No matter how beautiful the woman he's sleeping with, he just wants someone different, and then wants someone different again."
I wonder if Spitzer had a different reason ...
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