Ye Mere Deewanapan Hai I Sophia Abella

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Signs your partner might be having an affair



Women are liars. Oh yes. Apparently they lie in droves, and they do so "more cleverly and successfully than men". Females lie about everything from surgery to partying to purporting that they're not sleeping around, in order to get what they want and see lying as a "survival tactic".

While I'm not surprised that her survey discovered women mostly lie about how much money they spend (75 per cent of women don't tell the truth about how much dough they throw around), it's another thing they lie about that is getting my knickers in a knot: apparently 60 per cent lie about not cheating on their partner ...

Usually stats like this don't get up my goat, but after recently receiving an email from a kind and gentle bloke who suspects his wife is cheating and is on the verge of a breakdown, suddenly those stats become very real and hit a little close to home. His suspicions may in fact be warranted since she suddenly spends late into the night on Facebook, has recently dyed her hair red (psychologists say this is a telltale sign something is brewing) and he just discovered a pair of knickers in her wardrobe that he's never seen before. Hence he's left wondering if their entire relationship is one big fat codswallop.

Barash would probably concur, considering she cites the tale of a 32-year-old mother who conducted her affair while telling her trusting husband she was working late. She writes: "Even in asking for a divorce, she withheld the truth: 'I didn't say I had fallen for another man. He was better off with my lies.'"
While I'm not quite sure how anyone would be better off with lies, I admit I'm a little embarrassed to be part of a sex that lies so often and abundantly that there are even different categories to describe our lying prowess.

There's the "betterment lie": the lie that is a means to an end - i.e. telling a rich man you love him and not meaning it. There's the cover-up lie - like hiding an addiction to alcohol or porn. There's "beneficial lying", "competitive lying", "lying to yourself" and lying because "there's too much to lose" if you tell the truth.
And then there's lying about a relationship.

"What are signs that my girlfriend might be cheating? How can I tell without asking her directly?"
Perusing the forums on the Yahoo! Groups website (always great fodder for this column), I came across a hilarious list of "signs your partner might be cheating" that keeps on growing with reader contributions.
The number one way to tell if your partner has been cheating?
"You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy." Ouch.
Other reasons include them deleting all incoming calls from Caller ID, kissing differently to the way they usually do, when they call out random names during sex, if they're playing more golf than ever before at odd hours of the day and night, if you find underwear around the house that is not yours and the definitive sign that many would agree on: you find new underwear in their drawer that you've never seen them wear before.

Other signs your partner might be cheating
* Your partner starts vigorously working out and drastically changing their appearance
* They change their hair colour to red (psychologists say this signals a massive change in one's life)
* They become critical of everything you do
* You find your man with condoms even though you don't use them together
* Your partner takes off their wedding ring
* They have unusual bite marks or bruises on their body
* They either don't want sex or have become way more adventurous than ever
* You get prank calls by someone who keeps hanging up when you answer

The lists can go on and on. But when it comes to lying, suspicions and bizarre behaviour.



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