"How is any decent man meant to compare with that? No wonder we're all in such strife! Women are being served up such unrealistic poppycock by pseudo-experts that it's no surprise dating has been turned into such a blood sport!"
Why dating is so costly when love is supposed to be for free
A blood sport indeed. My friend witnessed this first hand the other night when he decided to go speed dating alongside a whopping 700 other desperate singletons at the Twenty20 cricket game at Telstra Stadium. (Yes it was scary, and no, he didn't find true love.)
Over the course of the night (after being groped numerous times too old or too young for my tastes and he do keep an open mind), he came to one sad conclusion: dating is not only scary, lonely and fickle, it's a darn expensive sport. (Factor in the cab ride, tickets to the event, drinks, food and the follow up dates and you're in debt before you've even got yourself any night-time nookie.)
Case in point is the bunch of New York "well-heeled ladies" who spent a whopping $US1500 in hope of finding a date with the Oprah-endorsed dating service "It's Just Lunch". Apparently, after forking out the cash, their lunch dates didn't go down too well and the ladies are now suing the company for false advertising.
Okay, so the men they dated lied about their jobs, their marital status and one was even found to be an alcoholic, but do women really believe that true love (and a Brad Pitt look-alike) can really be bought through a dating service? I think not. If true love truly did have such a simple quick-fix solution, there wouldn't be such a vast readership for this blog. Yet not only is finding a date expensive, keeping a date can burn a hole in your wallet larger than the nest in Amy Whinehouse's hair. Especially for the poor gents.
The dot.com girls
Ever heard of the dot.com girl phenomenon? Well if not, you'll instantly recognise their type: all investment and no return.
Picture this scenario: she flutters her eyelashes, flashes some leg and you think she's interested in you. So you do what any gentleman would do in such a situation and you buy her dinner, purchase her expensive gifts (even if you can't afford them), bring her flowers and pay for her bus tickets. The trouble is, she gives back nothing in return. Nudda, zip, zilch. No action between the sheets. No horizontal hanky panky. In fact she gives you nothing more but a peck on the cheek and a thank-you text, all the while she's out dating other schlumps who treat her mean to keep her keen and you're falling hard.
Chemistry-and-run
Finally, there's the "chemistry and run" quagmire. It goes something along the lines of this: the date goes by in a wondrous haze of laughter, cocktails and chemistry. The litany of hapless dates you've recently endured are momentarily forgotten as you stare into your date's eyes and wonder where the heck they've been all your life. In fact as far as first dates go, this one is screaming a resounding "yes, yes, yes!" That is until you wake up the following day. You check your phone, your email, your blackberry and even your fax machine. But nothing. By the end of the week, you start to come to the realisation that you may have been duped. Yep, you've fallen victim to the "chemistry and run" phenomenon.
Ladies and gents, don't be duped again. In fact if you're not certain if your date is really all that into you, try renting a Hugh Jackman movie instead. At least you'll get something in return ...
Best of luck in the dating sport for 2010!
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