When Kate Moss recently came out saying that "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", health advocates, health conscious women and pastry chefs alike gasped in collective shock. Why? Because, while we've long suspected that those who believe one can never be too thin nor too rich are simply an anomaly, we secretly hoped that models such as Moss were freaks of nature and could eat whatever their hearts desired without putting on an ounce of flab.
"It's in their DNA!" we argued, happily chowing down our second Krispy Kreme. "We could never look like that because it's not in our genetic make-up!" we shouted as we sipped our milkshake. Yet, sadly, the truth seems much more sombre.
These lollypop ladies do in fact go to extreme lengths to be that super thin and yet, the more we read about their fad diets, strict regimes and all-prawn diets, the more we feel bad that we're not out there trying just as hard ...
I'm all for losing weight. I'm all for getting fit and having a good bod in order to feel more confident, secure and happy within yourself. But there's a fine line between wanting to be healthy and wanting to be super skinny for the sake of getting a date.
"But men only like you if you are super skinny," I've heard women say. "He's only dating her and not me because she's thinner than me," I've heard women say. "If only I was five/10/15 kilos lighter, I'd have a boyfriend/he wouldn't have cheated on me/I'd be soooo much happier!" the ladies fool themselves into thinking.
This is especially so for the single ladies looking to get a shoe-in in the world of online dating.
Lately we've had a load of discussions on this blog in regards to women having standards that are way too high when it comes to choosing men. "Don't settle!" our friends tell us. "Have standards!" they beseech.
And yet, if we look at the women's choices of men, it starts to do my head in when we find that sometimes they're just as bad.
If you've ever had to put up an online dating profile, you'd know that there aren't too many options when it comes to filling in your personal description. Especially when it comes to describing your body type. Unfortunately anything other than "slim", "toned" or "athletic" are considered euphemisms for "overweight" by many men perusing these sites.
Which is why, according to recent research from Cornwell University, 59 per cent of women lie about their weight on their dating profiles. By 10 kilos. Of course in real life, things are mightily different when it comes to meeting a woman at a bar. Her exact measurements barely get a look in (plus, thanks to clothes gurus Trinny and Susannah we've learnt over the years how to conceal our worst assets and show off our best). But, somehow, when it is written up in black and white on the internet, it becomes more of a point of contention.
Hence there's a new diet/exercise regime/starving mechanism thrown into the works every second day. Does it help us? Oh no. It only makes up more bloody confused.
True, in the past 20 years, models have gone from size 8 to size 0, and yes, skinny is definitely in, but says Nancy Hayssen, author of You Can Be Sexy at ANY Size or Age!, when it comes to skinniness, we've got it all wrong.
According to her online poll of men aged between 18-51, 80 per cent are indeed attracted to women who are curvy and voluptuous as Jennifer Lopez, while 15 per cent are attracted to average bodies.
Her conclusion? "Men love women who have some meat on their bones. I've always known this."
She says that while only 5 per cent of men actually found anorexic-looking women hot, the most shocking response to her was to the question "Who is the sexiest woman ever?" In most cases the answer was simply "my wife"! (The "voluptuous" Marilyn Monroe made it in at second place.)
While Hayssen says that being sexy is all about confidence, and that "if you act like you believe you are an attractive, sexy woman, men will see you as one", many women trawling the dating websites aren't so sure.
Online dater Tess writes in a response to an article on Hayssen's website:
"Where are all of these men who are so open minded about size?! For the past three months, I have been resorting to online dating due to my heavy schedule and I cannot begin to express how many men just cut me off because of my size. I'm 5'6" and weigh 165 lbs and wear a size 14/16. I've been told flat out I was fat by several men. I even had one guy who had the gall to write to me that the sexiest woman he dated was a size 8-alluding that this size 8 was the biggest woman he dated. I am about ready to throw in the towel. I'm growing real tired in being called fat."
Of course if you asked any man their honest answer to the question, "Who would you rather sleep with: Victoria Beckham or Nigella Lawson?", I think we would all know the answer to that one ...
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