Male behaviour: Does infidelity = sex addiction?

In the past few weeks there have been three startling revelations in the news relating to a few subjects which are often discussed here.
The first is courtesy of researchers at the University of California who took the time to discover that blondes have something going on that the brunettes don't. (Surprise, surprise.) Through extensive scientific research they discovered that, unlike brunettes or redheads, blondes seem to live in a "bubble" and have a "warlike" attitude. Hmph.

The second revelation follows hotly on the heels of the Tiger Woods saga. Experts, authors, celebrities and past mistresses have all weighed in on the issue of "sex addiction", pushing the topic out from under the proverbial rug and into the mainstream.

Yet the big question on everyone's lips is this: does Woods really suffer from a "sex addiction"? Or is it all just PR spin so that, instead of referring to him as a lying, cheating cad, we just feel sorry for the poor sod? And, when does cheating stop being something horny blokes do, and start being considered as full-blown sex-addiction? ...

While the dictionary definition of an addict is someone who devotes all their free time to behaviour they cannot stop, many wonder how the heck Woods could be a sex addict if his sporting prowess and latest spate of golfing wins is anything to go by. Surely, between being named Player of The Year on tour and winning the FedExCup last year (and the $US10 million bonus), he would have had little spare time to roll around in the sack with strange women, right?

Columnist and TV host David Moulton concurs, surmising that Woods isn't an addict at all, "just a horny dog" who got caught.

"He's a young, good-looking, super-rich athlete who decided to treat his marriage as a sham and do what many other young, good-looking, super-rich athletes/celebrities do - having sex with everyone they can," Moulton writes. "And that feeds the ego. And people like Tiger Woods have an ego the size of Texas."
But Woods isn't simply having sex with anyone he can, or just giving into the temptation of a bevy of beauties who are throwing themselves at his feet. (Although he's done that too.) Instead, Woods appears to have actively sought sex, with reports stating that he's spent a staggering $US65,000 on paying for it from the pros.

Paying for it
Why exactly there are so many men who so willingly and regularly pay for sex. It's confusing the heck out of many, especially since we're supposedly in an age where "hook-up" are rampant and casual sex is being dished out so readily for free.

While the research found that the numbers of men who pay for sex have doubled in a decade, and that 65 per cent of respondents believed that "most men" go to prostitutes every now and then, it seems there isn't one definitive reason as to why so many do it.

The study polled more than 700 men in six different countries aged 18-70, half of whom were in relationships or married, and discovered that there were a variety of reasons men chose to pay for a pro; most specifically so they didn't have to call the women the next morning.

"It's like renting a girlfriend or wife. You get to choose like a catalogue," said one of the men out of the selected comments by London men who buy sex.
"We're living in the age of instant coffee, instant food. This is instant sex," said another. (Of course this is a load of baloney as I'm sure there were prostitutes long before the "instant age".)

"It's no strings attached sex, no bother about buying gifts, it's a one-off financial commitment," responded a third.Yet a fourth admitted that it was not as good as others might say. "It's unfulfilling, there's no reward. It's empty. It's terrible."Thirty-two per cent of blokes said they paid for sex to satisfy an immediate sexual urge, entertainment and pleasure while 20 per cent said they did it because they couldn't get what they wanted sexually or emotionally in their current relationships. Two per cent said it was due to male bonding and peer pressure.

So is paying cheating?
Author Pamela Druckerman has a theory as to whether paying for sex constitutes cheating. In her book, Lust in Translation, she says that, in Japan, "the saying among businessmen is 'If you pay, it's not cheating.' "
Others (mostly men) stick by the mantra: "When wives say no, where do you go?"

And then there's a group who say "It's not cheating; it's merely entertainment."
My advice? Stay away from the blondes or, if caught, you could have a "warlike" situation on your hands.