In the hilarious new television show Cougar Town, when it comes to age, a paradoxical scenario is portrayed. On the one hand you've got newly divorced Jules Cobb (played by Courtney Cox). She's a 40-year-old cougar desperate to get back into the dating game, yet is viewed by her hot neighbour (who is the same age) as being a little too old to start dating younger men.
On the other hand you've got the hot neighbour, Grayson Ellis (played by Josh Hopkins), who, despite also being newly divorced, has an entirely different attitude, lifestyle and sex life. He revels in his ability to attract and date a slew of hot, younger women, embraces his bachelor lifestyle and is nowhere near his use-by-date. (Or at least that's what he and his horde of never-ending bonk-buddies believe)...
It's a scary thing growing old. We all know that. It's also scary when you hear your gorgeous eligible, single girlfriends spurt lines such as, "I hope I'm married by the time I turn 30" or "I'm almost past my expiry date and I'm still single; what's wrong with me?" and, most surprisingly, "How come men don't experience the same thing as they get older?"
Well, they just don't. Which is why you'll never hear a man say something similar. Ever.
There comes a time when a man in his 30s no longer wants to date a woman in her 30s. And there comes a time when a man reaches his 40s and he only wants to date a woman in her 20s. Yep, as the men get older, the women seem to get younger and younger, and no one bats an eyelid. They aren't labelled with any derogatory terms (many older, single women abhor the word "cougar"), aren't written about in the news as some sort of "new breed" desperate to get laid, and don't get teased, cajoled or written about in Top 10 lists such as the recent one that television-show website Spike.com recently came up with.
The male-orientated site lists the "Top 10 Actresses Past Their Expiration Date" and describes the women (who include Nicole Kidman, Terry Hatcher and Renee Zellweger) as going bad. "And once they hit that point there's no making the sour gallon of milk scrumptious again ... "
Even though it irks the heck out of me that women are judged so harshly about their age while men seem to sail through life without any judgment at all, this got me wondering: are there certain types of men who do not adhere to the adage that men age like fine wine, but more like spilt milk? Are there certain blokes who do indeed start expiring once they hit a certain age?
Savvy dating columnist Christan Marashio, from the popular "... And That's Why You're Still Single" blog, says there are indeed certain types of men whose market value is in danger of depreciating faster than you can draw money from an ATM and toss it out the car window. She reckons these men fall into six categories:
* The struggling artist.
* The "me and my boys" guy.
* The "mamma's boy".
* The guy with room-mates.
* The "big teddy bear guy".
* The "Wantrepeneur".
Considering the field I'm in, for me the gent who seems to expire the fastest is the struggling writer. After all, not all writers who are well into their 30s or 40s can be as successful as Hank Moody from the hit TV series Californication.
In fact, having to deal with the ups and downs of struggling artists (and the aftermath of them taking a mix of uppers and downers) is about as painful as poking your own eyes out with a stick.
I'm not even talking about the fact that there isn't a dual income. Or that they spend most of their free time playing PlayStation. I'm saying that, when men don't have clear focus or direction or have not achieved success, something happens to their self esteem. They get a bashing. And when a man's ego is deflated, it can be mightily difficult being around him.
Of course, a man who has ambition and artistic flair can be mightily appealing - up to a point. And that point expires with his age. Stick around for long enough and, if he's done nothing, or hasn't reached his goals and he's still moping around in the belief that one day he is going to "make it", you'll be pulling out your own hair and might start wishing that you were a cougar instead ...
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