There's a man I know; let's call him Jayson. Over the years he's learnt that, to get what he wants - regular sex from a woman - he has to form some sort of a "relationship". And so he fakes one. Or two. Or five. All at once. He manipulates women into thinking that he is the perfect man by wining, dining and treating them with the perfect blend of chivalry and bad-boy-turned-good persona.
"I've changed," he purrs lovingly to each and every one of them. "And you've been the one to change me." Cue female hearts melting, skirts lifting and hearts breaking.
Jayson doesn't rush these women. Oh no. He moves slowly and stealthily, knowing very well that slow and steady wins the race. Or at least another blow job.
"Wow, he's waited so long!" the unsuspecting women say, clapping their hands in glee, imagining themselves walking down the aisle and what their babies might looks like.
"He must really like me!" Or worst of all; "I think I might have finally found 'the one'!". And so they succumb to sleeping with him. And he laughs smugly to himself when another one bites the dust ...
Jayson is not one of a kind. There are thousands of Pauls trawling nightclubs and bars, searching for unsuspecting female victims on the hunt for a boyfriend, a husband or a part-time ATM. They can pick their prey instantly, know just how to dupe them and then how to toss them aside like a used piece of gum. We like to call him the Manipulative Man.
Then there's Erik, also known as The Player. He meets a girl, buys her a drink and invites her back to his place. He tells her he's never met anyone like her, opens up about his childhood "issues" and before either of them know it, her legs are in the air and she's cooking him eggs and bacon in the morning. All it cost him was a $12 cocktail and a ride home in the morning ... if she's lucky.
My point? That we all need to be a little more aware of the fact that sometimes men want sex (and will do or say anything to get it) and women want relationships (and will do or believe anything if they think one is on the horizon).
While the sexually liberated among you might throw up your hands in protest and declare that not all women want a relationship, it's actually been statistically proven.
A study carried out by James Madison University and published in the journal Sex Roles, discovered that most women do want a relationship and no matter how sexually liberated they are, still fear that casual sex will lead them to become emotionally attached to the dude they've just bonked. Only a measly 2 per cent of women said they strongly preferred hooking up to a relationship, while 17 per cent of men preferred casual sex over the whole wining and dining shebang. (By my reckoning, the stat is way higher for the men, I'm just not sure too many would admit it for reasons outlined above.)
The reason for the stats being this way is in the biological make-up of the sexes. Men physically need a "release" due to the build-up of semen in their testes, which then tells their brain that they need sexual satisfaction in order to release it ... and fast.
Women, on the other hand, are biologically wired to be more picky about what they do with whom. After all, sex is a big investment for gals because it can lead to nine months of pregnancy and 18 years of child-rearing. Combined with the fact that women's brains don't tell them they need a physical release every 24 to 48 hours, and it's obvious why a relationship is more appealing than just a one-night stand.
Of course we can always ignore stats and biology and surmise that not all men want sex. That it's simply a case of the media, men's magazines and the sex trade giving us false impressions that macho men are incapable of love and feelings and commitment and companionship. But, as a single girl, when all you meet out and about are Pauls and Erics, it's tough to comprehend that there are any men who think differently. Or perhaps we just don't know where to find them ...
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