There's a new type of bloke on the block who's getting single women's knickers all wound up. I'm not talking about the sleaze, the playboy or the womanizing wonder-man who has more notches on his belt than Tiger Woods. This new subset of men I've discovered are far less appealing and far more widespread. Introducing the recyclables: eligible single men who've already dated half your social circle and have warts-and-all horror stories being told about them all over town.
Like New York Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez. After being dumped by Madonna, he dated Hollywood actress Kate Hudson and is now frolicking about with Cameron Diaz. He is never seen in a tabloid without a pretty blonde as a handbag and a smirk on his face.
While I have no doubt this man is built like a Greek God and has more charms than a Pandora bracelet, is he seriously that good? Do these (hot) women feel that there are no other men to date other than someone their friend (and half of Hollywood) has already done the dirty with? Is he a master player who knows all the right things to say? Or is it simply a case that there's simply not enough men to go around so we are forced to recycle...?
While there's actually a psychological explanation behind this trend (which has nothing to do with the size of his biceps) which states that men who have dated or are dating extremely gorgeous women are a lot more appealing because they've already been "pre-approved", it doesn't make it any easier to find a man.
I discovered this first-hand the other night while out with a perpetually single girlfriend who has been on the dating scene for the past four years. I'm not quite sure what I expected, but it was definitely not the conversation that ensued.
"What about him?" I asked her, pointing at a cute guy in the corner of the bar. "Oh I've already dated him. He didn't bring his wallet out on TWO dates in a row! Oh, and he rocked up to a hike we were going on for our second date in jeans and loafers."
"What about that one?" I said, pointing to the next guy.
"Oh he's a psychopath. Definitely do not date him, he has issues. We've been on and off for years."
"And the next?"
"Oh yeah, he is cute. But he dated my friend for years and he's still pretty messed up about the whole thing."
Yeouch. While she seemed nonchalant about the whole notion of recyclables and treated it as just another obstacle in the ever-treacherous dating jungle, it got me wondering: is there anyone out there who hasn't bonked your best mate, your beautician or your next-door neighbour? Is anyone free of horror stories, dates gone wrong or a little black book fatter than Charlie Sheen's?
And when you do find a man without a past filled with people you know, are you worse off not being able to learn about his patterns or a warning as to how things are going to pan out ?
When the tables are flipped and the "recyclable" tag is slapped onto the fairer sex, it doesn't sit any better. In fact, many blokes I've spoken to find the thought of dating the same women as their mates mightily unappealing.
But back to the blokes. One man reckons that there are two types of single men: those who go for quantity and those who go for quality. He tells me that he's extremely picky and would never date anyone in an ex's social circle.
Listening to him, I start to change my tune and wonder if people who date only for quality, miss out on having all the fun. And I wonder if the recyclables are really the ones with the key to it all. Why not date as many people as possible and emerge from it knowing more about what you want, what you don't and with the knowledge that you're getting one step closer to finding The One?
But I also wonder if those who focus only on clocking up their numbers miss out on something real, true, special and intimate because they're too busy looking for their next quick sexual fix ...
What do you think?
Have a fabulous weekend and happy dating!!
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