When is it the right time to start sleeping together? Ah, the ultimate question. When you are seeing someone new, you're more likely to be asked by mates if the two of you have done the dirty than if you share compatible star signs, like his taste in music or what car he drives.
While I'm not quite sure why people (strangers and friends alike) think it's their business to know if you've had sex (and if it was good, how big his member is, if you'd shag him again or what's the lowdown on his hair situation down there), it seems these days, in a post-post feminist maelstrom, that sex is spoken about as "just sex". No big deal. Nothing too meaningful. Just something two consenting adults do for recreation (or procreation ... or boredom ... or to "fill in the gaps" ... how bloody romantic).
It seems in the eyes of the blokes, the rules have changed. "We should sleep together right away and then we can see where this is going," a date recently mused.
"But isn't it better to get to know someone and then sleep with them if you like what you see?" I retorted.
He wasn't convinced. I was perplexed. Is this how things are meant to work these days? That you're supposed to have sex before you begin dating? That physical intimacy comes before emotional intimacy?
True, over the years, women have become more educated, more powerful and more in control of their sexuality. They've also decided that sex isn't something they should be afraid of or is even that much of a big deal. "It's just sex," as so many say. "I can keep my feelings out of it."
But here's an interesting tale. A friend told me about a magazine interview she'd recently read with Katy Perry, the pop star who's tamed serial womaniser and sex addict Russell Brand.
Since Brand met Perry at a nightclub when she threw a bottle at him and told him, "You've met your match, motherf-----!", he's morphed into a bloke who is romantic, endearing, affectionate and has announced that he's finally happy to have sex with one woman for all eternity. Yep, just one.
How the bloody hell Perry did it is a mystery to the women of the world. (Especially considering this man is known to have slept with at least 80 women in one month!)
To me, the ability to "tame" a bad boy has always been a myth. Somehow, no matter how it looks to the outside world, he will always revert to his bad boy ways, even if it seems he's been reformed by a woman who knows how to play his game.
So what is it about Perry? Is it her charm? Dashing looks? Smashing personality? Wicked sense of humour? Well, not quite.
As Perry told the latest issue of Esquire magazine, the key to her success has simply been this: not sleeping with him too soon.
That's right folks. In fact, she refused to go home with him the night they met and told him if he wanted to get to know her, he could take her out on a proper date the following night.
"Can you imagine the horrible feeling he had when he was used to getting everything he wanted?" she told the magazine. And that was all it took? Wow.
Over the course of their relationship, apparently she's also made it clear that she might not be able to fulfil all of his sexual fantasies all the time, but that's the compromise that he has to make for a real, emotional, long-lasting relationship.
It's not often that a news story about a celebrity relationship actually has a positive spin to it. However, if someone who is called a former "professional prostitute" by his girlfriend (as Perry refers to Brand) can be tamed simply by her withholding sex till he's at least had a chance to buy her dinner, then perhaps there really is some merit to this whole "taking it slow" theory after all.
Because if Katy Perry – the woman who kissed a girl and liked it, who danced naked in front of rapper Snoop Dogg and wears itsy bitsy outfits as she waltzes down yet another red carpet – decides to hold out so as to get a little respect from a man (which, by the way, resulted in a marriage proposal), and it works, surely it can't be that bad an idea to follow in her footsteps?
After all, she's done the unthinkable: she's tamed the world's most untameable bad boy. And there's nothing prudish about that ...
PS. Bearded men have more sex ... say what?!
According to a survey, men with beards get luckier than clean-shaven blokes. Apparently not only do the women think it's sexier, but the men feel more confident, attractive and have more personality with a beard. Perhaps it's because they're hiding what's underneath, but if Russell Brand is anything to go by, the survey might not be that far off after all…
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