Ye Mere Deewanapan Hai I Sophia Abella

Monday, May 24, 2010

The new female sport: talking about husband hunting

I'm not sure when husband hunting became a bona fide sport. But when biological clocks start to tick and loneliness sets in, the hunt begins. Clubs and pubs become a jungle of eligible males (or a string of disappointing dates) as women flash their assets and dart their eyes around in hopeful search of "the one".

But why? What's so great about getting married anyway?

According to authors Cynthia S. Smith and Hillary B. Smith of Why Women Shouldn't Marry: Being Single by Choice, the answer is not much.

"Why on earth should you allow a man to move in on you, bringing his demands and idiosyncrasies that force you to reshape your life into his image?" the authors And perhaps they have a point ...

When the book was released in 1988 it caused an outcry amongst conservative types. Now in re-release, it acts as a positive go-girl bible giving women a positive spin on their situation at a time when more women aren't exactly finding themselves with the fairytale ending they once envisioned.

The reason for all the fabulous unmarrieds swanning around? According to a recent British study, it's simply down to the fact that women are getting smarter, and the smarter a woman is, the less likely she is to get married. Yep, according to the survey carried out by the universities of Aberdeen, Bristol, Edinburgh and Glasgow, career women who are busy climbing the corporate ladder are increasingly not settling down.

Whether the reason is that the men they meet aren't interesting enough, or all the good ones are taken, married or gay, the authors won't allow women to blame their intelligence on their inability to find a man.

Instead their reasons run the gamut from the whole "soul mates" theory is actually a myth to their conclusion that single life is way better than having to deal with "no-one's needs but your own".

Perhaps the authors make a few good points in their 214-page anti-marriage manifesto. But either way the sad fact is that there are too many women who make it their life's aim to find a husband as soon as possible. And the men finding it all mightily unappealing.

Case in point is the other day when I met a guy in a bar who pointed out to me the husband hunting women in the room. You could see by their outfits, their body language and the way their eyes darted around the room in desperate search for "him" that they weren't just out to have a good time.

"I see these women everywhere I go," he told me. "They follow eligible men around the room with desperate eyes and it's blatantly obvious that they're sizing him up for potential husband material even before he's opened his mouth. Men are never going to respond to that."

He explained to me that in order to truly find a husband, the hunting needs to stop and women need to start to live a fulfilled life without a bloke by their side before one will become even remotely interested.

"What's so good about marriage anyway? If you ask me, "So many marrieds are so miserable. I'd rather be single."

Why women want to get married
Why women think of marriage so much more than men is one of life's greatest riddles. Perhaps it's thanks to the age-old belief that a man will be the one to rescue her, sweep her off her feet and provide, care and protect her and her offspring. Or perhaps it's as one bride-to-be described it to me the other day: "It's the one day in my entire life that I get to be the centre of attention and wear a beautiful white dress."

But she's also realistic about the meaning behind all the waltzing down the aisle. "It signifies the fact that we become a team," she says. "It means I'm no longer going at it alone in the world."

What do you think?

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