Who really needs Facebook?‏

When I read a while back that Prince Harry was deeply hurt when his ex-girlfriend Chelsy Davy changed her Facebook status to "is now single", I never thought I'd get caught up in anything remotely like that.

Sure, I've fielded some teary phone calls from devastated folk wondering who the hell their partner is smiling so happily with in a photo, or why the hell their ex has changed their status to "in a new relationship" before they've even had a chance to go on a new date with someone else. But I've always thought it was a rather childish way to make a statement. Why let the whole world (or at least 1000 of your closest friends) in on your private relationship business?

Yet a few weeks after my BFB*, a friend let me in on what had recently transpired: my ex had changed his Facebook status to "single". A little shocked that it had come to that, I promptly did the same. A competition ensued: who could get more pokes, prods and nude photos sent to their inbox? Who was living a more exciting life? (Or at least who appeared to be by their carefully selected, airbrushed, pre-approved photos?)

Status changes aren't the only thing getting keen Facebook users knickers in a knot.
Ever heard of the "honey pot" theory? Neither had I until recently, when a woman we'll call L - who suspected her man was doing the dirty behind her back - emailed to tell me she'd created a fake Facebook profile named "Mandi" in an attempt to catch out her boyfriend (who was displaying increasingly dodgy behaviour - such as being glued to his phone during date nights together).

The profile she set up was of a sexy, pouting blonde in a skimpy bikini complete with fake boobs, plumped-up lips and more navel showing than Cristiano Ronaldo on the cover of the latest issue of Vanity Fair magazine. I don't know where she got the photo from (I assume doing so is against the law so I'll leave that one alone) but in the excitement of it all, she forgot one important thing: no good can come out of the honey pot.

If her boyfriend dares to flirt back with "Mandi", does she confront him about it? And what exactly would she be catching him out doing? Talking? What if he doesn't take the bait, or worse - what if he discovers it was really her behind the sordid messages attempting to lure him in? As they say, sometimes doing the snooping shows a worse sense of character and mistrust than the person they're snooping on.
Yet if you're one of those people who is sitting there right now casually perusing your high school buddies' status updates, playing a spot of Facebook Chess or joining groups such as "Bro, she got an AVO against me", "If 1 million people join this group, nothing will happen", or "1000 reasons why north is better than the south", then (like I once did) you are probably thinking that the "Mandi" situation might just be a little too paranoid, stalkerish or bordering on psychotic for comfort.

Yet, a quick poll of my Facebook buddies found she might not be so far off the mark after all.
Plus-sized model Brooke tells me she gets flirted with, asked out and propositioned all the time on Facebook by married or taken people, despite her "in a relationship" status clearly displayed on her profile.
Basketball player Stephen says he got caught up flirting with a married woman, yet he swears to me: "She never told me she was married till I got a message from her husband!" (He's also wondering where all the decent women are ... Facebook me for his details if you're interested.)

A while back a married man struck up a friendship with a girlfriend of mine via Facebook, only to find out later on that not only was he was Facebooking 25 other women all at once, but many of them were mutual friends of his wife. Yeouch.
I often wonder what goes on inside the sordid mind of someone like that, but I guess we all know the types too well: they need every bit of social proof they can get their sweaty hands on to boost the fledgling egos, all the while cackling to themselves as desperate women flock to their Facebook profiles and get turned on by the nude photos of their bottom halves that they regularly dish out to unsuspecting suitors. (True story.)

I admit I spend more than my fair share on the site but, seriously, any married or taken person who sits all day flirting with unsuspecting singles seriously needs to re-examine their priorities in life. Or at least take up Facebook Chess instead.
As for L? Her boyfriend did end up flirting back, propositioning her to meet up that weekend and even asked if she'd like him to book a hotel room for the two of them. So now she's in a dire dilemma. What should she do? Confront him about it? Go to the hotel herself? Or ignore the whole thing and chalk it down to innocent "talking" simply caused by the wrath of the honey pot that is known as Facebook ...