Living out loud: Are we all better off coupled up?

"I need a man! With a man in my life, I'm 50 per cent better than I am without one," my single girlfriend recently complained to me.

Do you know what really bugs me? Just that sentiment. It is the cliche-ridden rubbish that single women (who are desperate to find a man) are led to believe. And who can blame them?

Thanks to the constant news headlines and supposed scientific research that goes into attempting to prove that coupled-up folk have it better than the rest of us, it's easy to see why so many are under the impression that they're just not performing as well as they could if they could latch on to someone else.

"Married people live longer!" say the experts. "Couples live healthier lifestyles than singletons!" say the studies. "Married people are better off!" they tell us constantly.

I admit that I used to be one of those women who always needed to be in a relationship. Having not been single for more than a few weeks at a time (at least not since my first high-school boyfriend taught me how to drive manual - oh the need for men!), I've spent most of my life enjoying having someone by my side to watch DVDs, help me with my taxes, share takeaways, pay half the rent, do the cooking (I make a mean lasagne but there's nothing better than a romantic meal cooked by him) and I have snickered to myself at never having to attend a wedding or social function alone. (Oh, the shame!)

Hanging on to someone else and having my existence validated by being "partnered up" felt like the natural thing to do. So I relied on a partner to fulfil me and, yes, I feared that I would be 50 per cent less productive (and 50 per cent less accepted by society) without one.

Yet, since I've become single, older and more cantankerous, I've realised that perhaps taking a little responsibility for one's self, without having someone to pick up the pieces when things don't go to plan, isn't such a scary step after all.

Since the BFB (big effing break-up), I've saved more money, moved house (twice), met more men then I can shake a stick at (and some who I've needed to hit with a stick), increased my social circle tenfold, enrolled in a psychology course, written another book proposal and upped my gym training schedule. (I can actually start to see my abs!)

And I'm not alone.

A real-estate agent friend tells me that, when her long-term relationship ended after her engagement fell through, she began to put all her energy into her business. It subsequently doubled.

"My schedule is so hectic that, when I'm not at work, I'm having dinner with clients or doing auctions on the weekend. Where would a boyfriend even fit in right now?"

After my beautician friend become single (and had a meltdown that lasted longer than her actual relationship), she picked up her heels, drew up building plans, opened up her own salon and now isn't exactly sure why she didn't have the courage or smarts to do it sooner. Oh yes, she was ensconced in a demanding relationship whereby all her spare time was spent cooking him his favorite meals, picking up his socks and nagging him to do the darn dishes once in a while.

So, are relationships distracting? Or do some people really perform better in a twosome? Is it different for men than for women? And is it true that, behind every good man, there needs to be a better woman, supporting him in the wings?

I wasn't too shocked to read the other day that when Socceroos star Harry Kewell's career took off, his actress wife Sheree Murphy quit the TV soap she'd been on for six years to focus on looking after her husband and support him in his career. There are many other women out there who do the same (and whose husbands demand it), which makes me wonder if men really are the needier sex.

In fact, perhaps we should stop blaming single women for being desperate for a partner and start to look at the men instead. After all, many of them don't seem to think they'd be able to get by unless they have a woman cooking their eggs and ironing their shirts.

But back to the topic. When it comes to whether or not we're better off in a relationship, I think it all comes down to the type of relationship you're in. I don't think we can say that being in any relationship is better than being single. Being in a bad relationship can be more detrimental to one's health, well-being and work habits. I would know. Yet others, perhaps those who believe they truly have found "the one", can confidently say that their partner is the catalyst and the key to their success.

So perhaps my girlfriend should change her attitude and, instead of believing that she'll be better off if only she were coupled-up with anyone, it's the supportive, team sort of partnership that we should all aim for. And if we can't seem to find it, we should just simply enjoy being alone and focus on putting our spare energy into ourselves instead ...