Ye Mere Deewanapan Hai I Sophia Abella

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The case of the bond "missing" sisterhood

The great divide between our behaviour continues. Men will applaud their mates for finding a girl. Women will question whether their girlfriend is rushing into it too soon; whether their friend really deserves a guy like him or whether he really likes her or is just using her for sex. And then, if he makes a pass at her (behind his girlfriend's back), many won't hesitate to go in for the kill. (True story.)

Yet, ladies, don't fret just yet. When I asked around for stories about the missing sisterhood, I discovered that it's a little better than I might first have thought.

Bryony says that, when she kissed a man and a few weeks later met his girlfriend, she immediately put an end to their dalliances in the name of sisterhood.

"I told her about everything he was doing, because I would want to be told if my boyfriend did that ... It's a sticky business getting involved in people's relationships, but I think, I hope, I did the right thing by her. These sleazy men need to be weeded out and punished for their crimes."

While Bryony might have shown that sisterhood between women is not dead yet, Marie says that it's a rare trait and that it is fast going down the drain. "There are way too many women who will flirt back when a man, who is dating someone or married, flirts with her. It takes a good woman to resist." She says sisterhood is getting phased out and has heard one too many stories of late about women sleeping with their best friend's husbands.

While I have my own drawer filled with these sorts of sordid tales, I never really thought to blame the lack of sisterhood for the problems until I realised something quite simple: women have the ability to deflect a taken man's advances. The ball's in her court. And no matter how attracted she might be to the (questionable) bloke in question, she should deflect him on the basis that it's simply the wrong thing to do by the other woman.

Lisa says about sisterhood: "Over the years I've found that there really isn't such thing. I wish there was and we did all have this sixth sense to just ‘stick' together. It would make navigating the world a little easier."

But Dana says it isn't so much a case of sisterhood as it is of self-respect. "I had a pretty famous sportsman make the moves not too long ago. He has a so-called serious partner so I declined without thinking twice. He asked why and found it hard to have a big fat no in his face. But at the end of the day it's about self respect, not sisterhood that makes me say no."

Would a man have done the same if the situation was reversed?

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