Modern women are in trouble. Or at least it seems that way. You see, over the past week I've spent my spare time moonlighting as a spray-tanning technician (the things I do for research!).
And while most women seem to trust me with their deepest, darkest secrets (as long as I agree to their warning "only if it doesn't end up in a column"), there's something a little different about what women will divulge when they are standing in front of me stark naked … while I'm wielding a spray-tan gun.
During the week I got to listen to stories ranging from break-ups to first-date nerves to bad bikini waxes to affairs to girl-on-girl tensions.
Yet the most poignant issue that emerged for me was from two women in their 30s – both of whom are struggling to fall pregnant because they waited too long, according to their doctors.
"Women spend half their lives trying to avoid being pregnant, and then the next half trying to fall pregnant," the first woman told me quietly. At 34, she and her husband had been struggling for years to conceive. And while it wasn't taking a toll on their relationship ("We're a team and he's so supportive ... I'm very lucky," she said), she looked exhausted and forlorn.
"That's why we're taking a trip to Mexico," she said as I sprayed her body a golden hue. "We're hoping a relaxing time will help us through."
The second woman had a similar tale of woe but, when it came to her man, she wasn't so lucky. The stress of it all had sabotaged what they had together and now, at 36, she's newly divorced, single and wondering what life is really all about.
"All those hours spent at the office till 4am getting deals done and climbing the corporate ladder, and for what? I look back and wonder if any of it was actually worth it."
Both of these women spent their 20s running themselves into the ground for their careers. And both, now in their 30s, feel it's actually got them nowhere but a little financial independence and an abundance of designer dresses.
"All my hard work means nothing now that I look back," the first woman told me. "I think women were given a false sense of what it meant to achieve over the past decade. We were encouraged to get into the office and stay there for as long as possible. No one told us that delaying kids might have rampant ramifications."
The debate surrounding modern women who are leaving it too late to have children has intensified over the years. While we were once told to get out of the kitchen and into the boardroom, now we're being told to get out of the boardroom and back into the bedroom as soon as possible.
"Your eggs will dry up!" they now tell us. "Modern women are leaving babies too late!" the headlines yell. And the stats back it up.
Of course waiting until there's a substantial income, a substantial relationship and a substantial yearning before thinking of having a child is fair enough. And it's not exactly our faults either. We are no longer getting married as young, the men are less likely to want to settle down early (what with the abundance of choice and opportunities presented to them on a silver platter without commitment), and many people favour travelling, freedom, work/life balance and their careers over motherhood and dirty nappies.
But is the price of female achievement not being able to conceive, coupled with loneliness, a ticking biological clock, failed relationships and a life suddenly seeming superfluous?
Sadly, many social commentators think so. Economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett and author of Creating a Life: Professional Women and the Quest for Children, said, "The more successful the woman, the less likely it is she will find a husband or bear a child."
In her book she surveyed women ranging in ages to find that 55 per cent of 35-year-old career women were childless, leading her to conclude this: "The rule of thumb seems to be that the more successful the woman, the less likely it is she will find a husband or bear a child. For men, the reverse is true."
So what's the solution? As modern women, should we give up our careers sooner to concentrate on starting a family? Find a man, settle down sooner and stop being so choosy?
To gutsy career women Bianca Dye who advises young women to ditch thinking they can have it all. "You can't. And that's alright! Just don't be so career driven that you turn around at my age (37!) and think 'crikey... Hold on... I DO want a family!'"
While she admits that she's hopeful that she'll still have have, she wants young women to be careful not to leave it too late. "I'm looking into freezing my eggs because I'm so scared I'll miss out. All my best friends are having or have had kids. And I ache for kids myself!"
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