An affair with a prostitute

I'm mightily perplexed. While another day shown yet another sordid tale of another philandering sporting pro whose pandering wife is willing to quickly forgive her cheating bloke, this tale is a little different.

This one involves English footballer Wayne Rooney (who is no David Beckham in the looks department) who has recently had sex with another woman (or two ... at the same time) behind his pregnant wife's back. And here's where the confusion lies. To him, the fact that he did the dirty on his partner of 12 years was reportedly "no big deal".

Why? Because as Rooney said, he didn't do it with one of his wife's friends, his teammates misses or someone he had feelings. Oh no. He did it with a prostitute – just for the sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

So a man risks his career, his marriage and his reputation all for what? Because by the sounds of the reports, the sex was hardly anything to write home about either with words being thrown around such as "seedy" and "boring".

The funny (albeit sad) part of this sordid tale is that everyone around Rooney has different ideas of right versus wrong. Rooney's camp says it was just a simple case of "boys being boys". His cousin Natalie took to her Facebook page to say that she'd lost respect for him because "other footballers have girls begging to have sex with them … He pays for it."

And the prostitute herself, Jennifer Thompson, (known as "Juci Jen" in football circles – no mystery there as to why), seems to be the only one giving him a little lesson in morality when she refused to go back to his house while his pregnant wife was away.

As she told the News Of the World: "As far as I'm concerned, paying a girl to have sex with you is one thing. Paying a girl to come back to your marital home when your pregnant missus is out is taking it a step too far ... to make that decision to do it in your house, I thought that was a bit much. You're really bringing your dirty washing home, aren't you?"

His wife, after all this, has declared that she still loves him. That she still wants him in her life. That she's willing to stand by him (even if his teammates won't.) "This is the man I should be with," she said. Really?

I'm sure by now you're wondering a load of things: why pay for sex when you are young, rich, famous and have hundreds of nearly nude women throwing themselves at you on a regular basis? Is paying for it a forgivable offence? Should his wife forgive him as she's reportedly about to do? And if she does, is that really such a bad thing considering she now has a child, a home and a life with the bloke she's long been in love with? Or are you of the opinion that no man should be allowed to get away with it ... no matter how famous or wealthy or "in love" with him you purport to be?

It seems that for many women, when love and/or kids are involved, nothing will stop them from forgiving the men who have given it all to them and from turning a blind eye to the problems the man has caused them.

A case in point is the news I received when I sat down with a group of single guys over beers at the weekend. When I told them that I was working on this story, they told me that most of their friends who are married with kids are cheating on their wives.

"It's true," they said. "We see it." While I wasn't sure whether or not to believe them (I assume they were also trying to chat up my cute blonde girlfriend at the same time), what was most surprisingly to me was they admitted that, while everyone else seems to know exactly what's going on, their women turn a blind eye.

"I'm sure their wives know it. They have to be able to sense it," said one. "It's unavoidable," said another. "At least 60 per cent of men cheat."

"I reckon that number is more like 75 per cent," chimed in a third.

So, if what they say is true, why do the men do it? Is it because they "settled" for the wrong woman or because the sex fizzles as happens in many relationships and they have to get it elsewhere?

And worse – why do so many single (desperate) women decide to go against their sisterhood and engage in a romp with a man sporting a wedding ring and a baby seat in his car?

"Oh that's an easy one. Women love married men," the first man told me. "It's because there's no commitment involved, but they get some form of emotional connection anyway and that satisfies them. For men, it's just sex. A simple transaction."

However, according to many women, sex for the sake of just having sex is still counted as an affair. Yep, according to a recent Gallop poll, 35 per cent of women say it's worse for a husband to pay to have sex with prostitutes; 34 per cent say it is worse for a husband to carry on a romantic extramarital affair and 27 per cent volunteer that both are equally bad.

As for the biggest mystery of all – why do married men do it when they can get sex in their own backyard? If one follows the theory of Sigmund Freud, then it's symptomatic of the "madonna/whore syndrome". Freud coined the term as a way to explain the way men divide women into two types – their good-girl wives and mothers of their children, and the overtly erotic, uninhibited and available "prostitutes" who are good for one thing only.

The theory goes that men choose one type to marry, the other type to sleep with on the side and that everyone should be happy with the arrangement.

Perhaps a better solution might be for more wives to act more "erotic" and "uninhibited" with their husbands if they want to prevent their men from straying.

Or perhaps it's simply in a man's DNA to get some elsewhere. Or maybe they just don't give a toss. Either way, should women who are betrayed really take their men back? Or do they just not give a toss either and turn a blind eye to it all?