She claims that because there are so many negative stereotypes surrounding feminism, many women get scared to admit they are feminists for fear it will scare men off. "My friends and I call it, 'coming out as feminist' and which date you decide you are going to do that," she explains. "But have faith ladies, the right man will be excited by you being a feminist, not scared."
Men wouldn't be too scared if they read the findings of a recent poll carried out by two academics at Rutgers University. The study questioned 983 people aged between 18 and 65 and discovered that - shock, horror - feminists and the men who date them actually reported greater sexual satisfaction and greater relationship stability than those who were in relationships with non-feminists.
Why is this so?
Aside from a poll proving that not all feminists are man-hating bitches, and feminism is not incompatible with love. As my feminist friend Sally told me in a steely tone when I showed her the survey.
"When the man is always on top, things get a little boring for both parties. Feminists are all about gender equality, so, from the kitchen to the bedroom, we like to share the chores and positions. It keeps things spicy and interesting."
Still the issue remains: What does it mean to be a modern-day feminist? Are we supposed to pay our own bills, pay for dinners, expect equality everywhere we go and fight for our right to have it?
According to Samhita, feminism is the belief that "everyone deserves rights, humanity and compassion irrelevant of who they are or where they come from" and says that feminism has made people happier with who they are.
Her advice to feminists wanting to get into romantic relationships?
"To be honest with herself about the kind of relationship she wants and will make her happy irrelevant of what anybody else or society at large wants from her."
I couldn't resist asking her the age-old dating question - who should pay on the date?
"I think paying in general should be based on common sense. If one person obviously has more money than another it makes sense for that person to pay more often. I really think the focus on who pays just doesn't apply anymore. Yes, men statistically have more access to income generation, however, I really think it is case by case and I don't think it is inherently sexist for a man to pay and I don't think it makes a man less of a man for a woman to pay. Why can't people just use common sense?"
And finally I wondered about the notion that modern women are acting too much like men to be attractive. Samhita tells me that just because women have more options these days, they're not acting like men, they're acting like women with more options.
"I know that is a tough concept to grasp, but I think the men that will ultimately be happy in their love lives are going to be the ones that can evolve with the changing time. I have faith that many of them will be able to. And people love to blame feminism for everything, but men also benefit from women being happier in their lives, any man that really loves a woman knows that."
No comments:
Post a Comment