It was Oscar Wilde who said, "Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others." While Wilde might have been under the impression that a man with a heavier wallet scored more dates, more casual sex and would get more raunchy handwritten love letters, perhaps he also predicted that news would emerge in the future that rich men would be able to give women better orgasms.
Yep. According to the findings of Newcastle University psychologist Dr Thomas Pollet, who polled more than 5000 people (including 1534 women with boyfriends or husbands), the theory lies in biology.
In fact, just like Charles Darwin's evolutionary theories (he suggested that people choose their mates depending on their ability to reproduce), Pollet's conclusion is that, when a modern woman invests in a man sexually, there's a risk she'll have a child with him. Therefore, biologically, she is inclined to want to mate with someone who will be able to provide for her and her family.
(The other theory is that she wants to show off her ability to reach orgasm in order to impress her suitor) ...
Yep, while we've long been told that money can't buy love, it seems it can indeed lead to more sex.
My first thought upon reading such tripe? Poor blokes! As if modern women aren't picky enough already! As if they don't have enough competition to contend with! But now we have to add to their angst by measuring the bulge in their wallets before the one in their pants?
Silly women. Don't they know that the more they point a finger at a man's bank balance before bonking him, the more he'll retreat into his cave, away from their sweaty palms reaching for his fortune?
Yet some men don't seem to mind.
While I'm always skeptical of such surveys, the proof seems to lie in the gold-plated pudding if the likes of Hugh Hefner, Donald Trump and the Rolling Stones' Ronnie Wood are anything to go by.
True, these gents aren't exactly oil paintings. But when a guy (who can afford a personal trainer, spray tanner, manicurist and hair stylist) picks you up in his gold-plated limo, whips you up to his rooftop jacuzzi, opens one of his bottles of Dom Perignon and tempts you with his Egyptian cotton sheets, it's enough foreplay to get any woman off, especially if she values that sort of thing. Which my colleague Charlize certainly does.
By her reckoning if you can fall in love with anyone, why not fall in love with a millionaire? After all, roughly 75 per cent of women have never even had an orgasm, so why not get one served in silky sheets with a side of caviar?
She does admit, though, that the blokes she dates aren't exactly Jerry Seinfelds when it comes to the humour department.
"They're as boring as bat shit," she says.
Either way, if my friend Charlize's sentiment is anything to go by, then it's no wonder the No.1 complaint I hear from single men hankering after a date is that they're not "rich" enough by women's standards.
"They all expect a really wealthy guy," the men tell me. "And when they find out I drive an average car and have an average salary, it's probably a huge turn-off."
I can tell you now, it's actually not. In fact, truth be told, women don't really give a toss whether you take us to the best restaurant in town, or the smallest but most delicious pizza cafe in a cute little hidden neighbourhood. (In fact many of us would prefer the latter.)
But two things are a turn-off: a lack of confidence and a lack of a sense of humour. Realistically, all we want is a man who is generous towards us (without having to spend a fortune), and ... one who makes us laugh.
Funny men better in bed?
Which brings me to my next point. It was Marilyn Monroe who said, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything." Even possibly have a Big O.
Because you see, in this day and age, when the financial crisis is barely over and being wealthy only seems to put a strain on relationships and one's sex drive, it would seem that laughter truly is the best medicine.
(Just take a look at a blog titled, DABA Girls - Dating A Banker Anonymous, and it's enough to turn any singleton off dating a man with dough.)
Add to the fact that a good sense of humour is possibly the No.1 trait women look for in a partner, and you can bet your knock-knock jokes she'll be clamouring to get between your sheets before you can yell, "More cheap vino?"
But ladies take note: while we certainly adore a man with a good sense of humour, psychologists say that studies have shown (XX) that the same does not hold true when the sexes are reversed. So, let him tell the jokes and just make sure you laugh at the punchlines ...
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