Actress Tina Fey is not good for single women. In her television show 30 Rock (a fictional account of what takes place behind the scenes of a live sketch comedy), she plays TV producer Liz Lemon who is a lonely, single, binge-eating desperado with a sardonic sense of humour, wears "bi-curious" shoes and searches for men everywhere from karaoke bars to match.com ... (haven't we all?).
To make matters worse, in a recent Saturday Night Live sketch Tina Fey denigrated single women in a mock commercial for Duncan Hines Brownie Husband. In the skit, she plays a single working woman who gnaws at her brownies to "stuff her feelings down with something" and says the brownies are a "perfect blend of rich fudge and emotional intimacy". Are single women that hard up that they're replacing men with brownies? I think not.
But with Bridget Jones being the feared pin-up gal for modern women, and whispers of "not even Jennifer Aniston is able to find a date - what hope is there for the rest of us?" being heard at dinner tables, it's all getting single women's knickers in a knot.
Is this the reason that a recent study of female 20-somethings carried out by More magazine in the UK has discovered that their ideal marriage age is twenty-darn-six?! (Ten years ago, that age was 30-something.) Is this because they don't want to end up like any of Fey's characters - jaded, alone, binge-eating and carb-loading? ...
All this leads me to ask a quick question of the single ladies: is anyone out there actually NOT obsessed with getting married, finding a man and settling down? Or are all the women of the world watching with awe at Fey et al's obsessive singleton behaviour and thinking, "Geez, that better not be me!", before dashing in desperation to find the nearest groom with whom to walk down the aisle?
While the survey has sparked many a rant from the 30-plus group claiming that the 20-somethings have the wrong idea and that there's no real rush, the 20-something marrieds are not exactly impressed.
"Why would I wait?" quipped one recently married 20-something. "It's better than a life of casual sex and meaningless relationships. Besides - I've met someone I can settle down with. Where's the fun in playing the field?"
Have some women actually chosen to be single?
Fun? Well, not quite. Yet the real crux of the issue that the 30-somethings have is that many have actually chosen to be single. And all power to them! Besides, in an age rife with cheating, bad marriages and messed-up kids, and in which divorce is ubiquitous, it astounds me to see the emphasis a generation actually has on the institution of marriage. Can't it be someone's choice to be single? Can't someone be happy - and I mean truly happy, without a man by her side to keep her warm at night and pay half her grocery bills?
It doesn't look likely.
"Love happens when you least expect it!" they say. "It's just around the corner for you!" they'll tell you. "You'll find someone in no time!"
But hold on a minute. Why must everyone be in a relationship? "Because otherwise you'll be a lonely old girl bonking married men for the sex," my married friend Rob tells me. "I see them all over my office. Beautiful young girls all making googly eyes at the married men. Because they're all that's available."
Argh. The man drought theory. Here we bloody go again.
"Everyone's either married or taken." We get it. There are no men around. We're destined to be single, unhappy and spinsters forever more. Puh-lease. It's getting boring and old. Even for the men.
Do men suffer from the same conundrum?
One man, who writes for the website YourTango.com and goes under the non de plum "Redacted Guy" doesn't understand all the hype about having to "couple off".
"What is it with this 'special' s**t, by the way?" he writes. "Everyone's always telling me that I'm 'special', and there's 'someone special' out there for me, and we'll find something 'special'. I'd be happy with someone who was cool and funny and likes reverse cowgirl, thank you very much. She doesn't need to be able to play the ocarina while bare-backing atop a galloping mule ... You may assume single people are lonely and unhappy, but if that's the case, why am I smiling and why is your tip so big? Because I'm happy. And single. And drunk. So there."
For those who aren't happy with being single, what's a guy or gal to do? "Well, you have to have at least five relationships before you can settle down with someone," my friend Joan announced to a group of single gals the other night, regaling some advice her father had recently given her.
Well, not if a recent study done by UKdating.com is anything to go by. In fact, according to the results, the average woman dates about 24 men before she finds the one she wants to keep. (Seven per cent have dated between 41 to 60 dates before they found someone and 1 per cent admitted to going on from 61 to 80 dates!) The other surprising thing the poll discovered was the miniscule window modern women give men. One in four will date a guy once to see if he's the one, 35 per cent will date the same guy twice, and 16 per cent will give him three chances. Hmph.
But back to the point of this story. What these researchers, Tina Fey and the Jennifer Aniston bashers are missing is that some people genuinely choose to be single. And for whatever reason it is, they don't actually want to "find someone special" just right now. Which should be applauded, not stigmatised. My advice? Those naysayers should all shut up. Or learn to live side-by-side with uncoupled folks, and learn to like it.
PS. For those of you single and looking for love, I've hunted down an available bachelor (and by the way, it wasn't that hard. Man Drought? Pfft.) Single, 27-year-old Cleo Bachelor of the year hopeful Todd Finlay has a job, a life and a good body to boot. But he too claims that too many women out there are caught up with finding the "perfect guy", hence nice guys like him are all too often overlooked.
"Sorry ladies but I hate to break it to you but there is no such thing. I think women automatically dismiss a guy if he does not tick all the boxes on a check list they have in their heads. What about chemistry? Also, women try to change men too much; we are all human and will never be 'Mr Perfect' even though we do try."
He admits that, just like all the single ladies looking for a man, there's an equal number of single boys looking to do the same. But he reckons too many women are way too busy playing games, having sex on the first date, being too needy, trying too hard, not being themselves and "asking for big commitment towards the future too early on in the relationship". Now, who would have thought?
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